A Billion Stars

Chapter 59

"I... I'm sure Ricky." I breathe out and I feel my heart jump as Ricky studies me. He looks unsure and I know that he thinks that I'm moving too quickly so I lean forward and press my lips to his slowly. I tug on his hair gently and I bite down on his lip just a little. I hear him groan in the back of his throat and his hands spread over my waist, holding me tightly and confidently. He chases my lips every time I pull away, and his tongue darts out to wet my bottom lip teasingly. I wrap my legs tighter around his waist and I feel him respond by pressing his hands into the back of my thighs to pull me closer. When I've decided that we're still not close enough, I tug on the bottom of his shirt and he pulls it off immediately before holding me tightly and swapping our positions so that I'm laying below him. My heart picks up as I feel the familiarity of the situation, being under a heavy male body but the second Ricky's lips trail to my neck the feeling goes away. Immense pleasure takes over and I slip my fingers up into his curls, another reminder to me that nothing about him was similar to my times with EJ. I feel Ricky pull away just a little to look at me and his lips are swollen. "You're shaking Nins, please tell me to stop if you don't want this." I shake my head and reach for his shoulders. "No I don't know why I'm shaking, I think it's just anxiety." I nervously laugh and Ricky smiles, cradling my face gently before pressing a kiss to my lips. "Anxiety's okay, as long as you're totally positive." He mumbles against my cheek before brushing his lips against the skin there, then making his way down to my collar bone. His lips suck gently before I feel him move the material of the neckline of my shirt, just a little so that his mouth could kiss the skin underneath. I shudder and his fingers pull at the fabric of the neckline just a little, but enough for me to sit up a little and tug my shirt off. Ricky doesn't take any time to look at me, just pressing our mouths together again while resting one of his hands on the side of my stomach. His thumb rubs circles into my skin, and if I weren't already laying down I'd probably collapse from weakness. Ricky moves against my body and it's obvious he's turned on which makes my heart flutter. I reach around him and tug on the waist band of his shorts and he pulls back, biting his lip before giving me a little nod, a silent agreement that he was in if I was in. Once I pull down his gym shorts, I feel his hands move to my breasts, palming them through the fabric of my bra and making it nearly impossible to breathe as pleasure shoots through my body. Ricky reaches behind me and I feel his thumb and his index finger, rubbing the area near the bra clasp and I bite my lip before sitting up a little for him to undo it. He unclasps the fabric in one quick movement and I fight the urge to cover myself, instead pulling down my own shorts quickly. "Hey, you're going really fast are you sure about this?" Ricky asks me, his voice gentle and raspy as he gauges me for an answer. I nod but my heart starts to pound harder and I'm almost sure he can hear it. "Just please kiss me." I say weakly, scared that if I think too much I'll scare myself. He doesn't answer, just surges forward to connect our lips as one of his hands comes up to continue to massage my right breast. I groan into his mouth and it's like I've turned something on in him, his body pressing even closer and his mouth leaving mine to continue to explore my body. I feel his mouth latch onto one of my breasts and I squeeze my eyes closed as my brain fogs in a way that makes me unable to think. It's frightening and thrilling at the same time, because what kept me stable during these situations with EJ was knowing I could think, that my moves were calculated and well thought out. I feel myself starting to vibrate with anxiety and Ricky pulls back, framing my head with his arms and staring into my eyes. I admire the golden flecks and the warmness in his eyes and he smiles, bringing his index finger up to trace my cheek gently. His tenderness makes me tear up and I smile, willing my tears to stay back. "Sorry, this is just all new to me. I've never been treated like this." I say and normally I'd be annoyed with myself for interrupting such a meaningful moment but Ricky brushes his lips against mine, his curls tickling my forehead, making me feel like I shouldn't be ashamed of anything. "You make my heart jump out of my fucking chest and that's new to me. So I guess we're learning together." He grins and I push myself up to press my lips to his. Warmness spreads throughout me and I can feel Ricky's smile against my lips.

Ricky lines up against my entrance, my heart pounding with anticipation. Before we connect fully though, my skin starts to crawl, even with the gentleness that I had been shown a mere minute ago. Ricky's arms suddenly feel too strong, like I wouldn't be able to push them away. His body size compared to mine is suddenly scary, knowing I wouldn't be able to get out from under him. I panic and Ricky stops all movements, watching me carefully. "Hey, are you okay?" I shake my head and crawl away from him. " I can't... what if..." Ricky doesn't waste any time, moving over to me and wrapping me in his arms. "You're panicking, and I can promise you that you're okay. Say the word and we're done. We'll get some pants and-" I laugh and look at the wall, trying to collect myself. "I'm sorry, momentary lapse of stupidity." Ricky frowns and shakes his head. "I was gonna say PTSD." I smile softly and wrap myself back into Ricky, pushing him down. "Let's... can we do it this way?" I ask, referring to me being on top of him. I wouldn't be trapped in, I'd keep my control. I take his member in my hand and stroking him softly to keep him aroused. He lets out a strangle groan and nods. "I just want to feel you." He groans out and I bite my lip, adjusting us so that we're ready. "Okay." I whisper and Ricky's hands finds my waist. "Whenever you're ready." He whispers back.