"God, Nini. You've GOT to loosen up. When's the last time you had sex? That might help." I roll my eyes at my best friend as I hang upside down on the couch. It was a lazy Saturday afternoon and instead of packing for my upcoming move from Salt Lake City to Los Angeles, I was watching The Voice on TV and playing with the threads of a pillow. "Sex won't help. I've got fingers, mind you and that is NOT how I release my stress." I laugh and Kourtney rolls her eyes back at me, laying down on the floor. "Babe trust me. Sex helps. But good for you for being cautious. If you slept with someone now and they accidentally fell in love with you, they'd have to move away to be with you and we've seen that romantic movie way too many times." I laugh and throw a pillow at her. "No one is falling in love with anyone. Chill. Plus I swore off men after EJ." Kourtney rolls her eyes at me again and grabs her phone. "I swear you better not be jeopardizing your future lover just because of one toxic man." My face conforms into a frown and I stop my thoughts from running too far. "He wasn't just a little toxic though. I'd bet that he was the worst a girl could have. If that's not enough to make me a little cautious around the dating scene, then I don't know what is." Kourtney shakes her head and looks down at her manicured hand. "Cautious is fine, but swearing off all men just because one did you wrong? Nuh uh babe. You're 22, you have to start finding Mr. Right." I sigh heavily and sit upright on the couch. "You think Los Angeles will have some genuine guys?" Kourtney nods dramatically and fans herself. "With washboard abs and handsome smiles." She giggles and I roll my eyes, laughing as well. "It's a bonus if he's a musician." I say more to myself than to her. "Nini, honey, it's more than a bonus. How to get into a girl's pants 101? Through a song." I laugh and grab another pillow to throw at her. "Okay it sounds like you are in desperate need of some loving too Kourt." I say and she flings herself back onto the ground. "If Zeke would just get his ass back from New York I'd be fine." She says and I laugh, combing my long hair away from my face. "But it's a music festival, and the summer is just starting." I say and she throws her hands up in the air. "We can't win!"She yells and we burst into laughter. "But honestly Nins, what's the goal here?" I shrug and make eye contact with her. "I wanna find myself. I want to feel like I belong, not only with people but with a destination. I've told you how much of a dream it'd be to get into the Los Angeles College of Music, but taking out the life it'd create for me, it'd just make me whole human being. Salk Lake just ain't doing that for me. And the singer songwriter scene is shit out here." I say with a laugh, trying to loosen up the tension and seriousness I brought over the room. "That's a good life plan. But that and man hunting right?" Kourt asks giggling and I laugh along with her, moving close and pulling her into a hug. "Ugh Kourtney, I'm gonna miss you with my whole heart." I tell her and she sighs, patting my arm. "I've got to send you out into the world." I laugh at her dramatic statement and her hug tightens. "If we're lucky though, you'll never pack and you won't be able to go." I pull back, standing up, and I gesture to the bare room. "Oh now come on, shut up. This is pretty packed you have to admit." She shrugs and lets out a laugh. "You're right. I guess I should change my statement to... if we're lucky you won't be able to drive a moving truck to California by yourself." I throw my head back in laughter. "I'M GONNA GET THERE IN ONE PIECE." I say loudly, cracking up as she points to the broken bike in the corner of my room. (Something I had just crashed merely two days ago). My mood sobers as I look around the room. "Just slightly crazy that in a week this won't be home anymore." Kourtney eyes me before getting up off the ground and taking a look around herself. "Be honest with yourself girl, was it ever?"
The week passes incredibly quickly. Every day that I get closer to making my move, the more I feel my anxiety rising. I find myself wishing for the lazy Saturday with Kourtney back, and I find myself wondering if moving is worth it at all. If I really tried, I could live here. But to me, that wasn't the point. Humans can live anywhere. I not only wanted to live, but I wanted to thrive and immerse myself into happiness and passion. I wasn't throwing myself into an uncomfortable situation on purpose, it just happened to come with the territory of finding myself and wanting to live on the West Coast. My chaotic thoughts run day in and day out, but deep down I know that moving is the right thing. I have been waiting for this for way too long to back out now. Time to grow a pair, and whip into shape because this girl is heading to the state where dreams are made.
YOU ARE READING
A Billion Stars
RomansaThere are billions of people in the world. Do you know how many stars had to align for us to meet? Rewriting the plot of High School Musical, The Musical, The Series.
