Learning to Love | ✓

Chapter 14

[JULIAN]

"Make love to me."

I could still hear the echo of my voice. Why did I say that?

Zeus was staring at me as if I was a whole different person. Maybe I was because I couldn't believe I just said that. I wanted to look away, but I couldn't. I wanted this. No, I craved this. Do you know how frustrating it was to look at Zeus without thinking that way? Do you know how much it annoyed me whenever I thought of the possibility of him doing things with someone else?

"I can't," Zeus murmured, avoiding my gaze. My eyes flickered in confusion. Did he already have a lover? Did he not find me attractive?

"Why not?" I asked, hurt staining my words. I watched him step away from me.

"I—I just can't," Zeus said, staring at the floor.

"You have a lover don't you?"

"I—"

"You don't like me, do you?"

"Julian sto—"

"Why would you touch me like that if you don't like me!" I screamed starting to sob. Zeus stared at me dumbstruck. I could see the confusion in his eyes. I couldn't blame him. I was well aware of the fact I was behaving like a child who didn't get what he wanted.

"I do like you, Julian," Zeus said in a gentle voice as his features softened.

"You just can't fuck me, right?" I asked in a sarcastic tone.

"I — something like that," Zeus said, running his hand through his hair. My frown deepened. Why was Zeus doing this to me?

"Why are you doing this to me? Why the hell can't you sleep with me? Am I not attractive enough?" I sobbed, bringing my hands to my eyes. I was tired of this, tired of all the confusion. Tired of not knowing if I can have what I want or not.

"It's not like I don't want you..." Zeus trailed, his face getting colored with a light pink.

"It's just, it's just you're married, okay?" Zeus sighed in frustration.

"Is that... is that why?" I asked, glancing down at my fingers and then back up at him blushing. Zeus nodded still blushing. I bit my lip and stared down at my fingers.

"Can we just forget this just happened, please?" Zeus begged. I could feel his gaze on me.

"No," I whispered.

"No?" Zeus asked, confused.

"Make love to me, please," I mumbled. Zeus backed away from me.

"Don't you think I'm attractive?" I asked. Zeus stared at me as if I was a ghost but you couldn't blame me I had to ask to know what to do next, what I was going to do next.

"Of course I do," Zeus said, staring at me with a firm look. I could feel my face heat up.

This is it. I thought to myself as I took slow steps towards him, praying that whatever was up there that he didn't move — didn't get me scared. I was soon face to face with him, so close that I was able to feel his breath fan my face.

"What are you doing?" Zeus asked, his eyes watching me with a worried look, but he wasn't moving. He wasn't trying to get away from me.

I brought my hand to his smooth Jaw, caressing the smooth edges and curves with my fingers. I let the tip of my middle finger trace the curve of his lips. My blood pumped with adrenaline as I watched his mouth part in a moan.

"Julian..." he trailed, shivering under my touch.

"Shush," I whispered, bringing my other hand to his scalp. I let my fingers run through his hair, feeling its silky texture before letting my fingers move back to his lips.