Learning to Love | ✓

Chapter 7

[ZEUS]

I had been jittery to get to the plane. I wanted to see Julian so bad. He's called two more times before today. Oh God, why couldn't this plane go any faster?

"Ugh," I complained. My laptop — my Macbook pro was so annoying.

"Excuse me, sir. No electronics till were in higher altitude," An air-hostess said with a fake smile... I hated those smiles. Why couldn't she smile normally or not smile at all? She was pretty but that fake smile was unnecessary, smiles like that made people cautious and edgy, instead of relaxed and comfortable. Even if she was contemplating how horrid her job or life was. It wasn't my business. I don't pay her. I thought and rolled my eyes.

I put away my laptop, it was annoying anyway. I looked out the window to think of better things — Julian sort of things.

I cringed on my sit. I had only felt this way about a few people before.

Augustus. I thought, closing my eyes.

It's as if our relationship faded into the distance with every passing day apart. It's not like we were going out or anything. We were just friends. I thought and grimaced. My relationship with Augustus had probably been one-sided. The feeling had obviously been one-sided. I thought as my eyes got misty. I shut them aggressively. I wasn't going to concentrate on those negative memories, no matter how cliche it sounded. I was going to treasure the time I spent with him. I thought blushing lightly.

Those midnight strolls, all the afternoon horse riding. Contemplating our lives by the river, just cuddling on the bed. Yes, I was going to remember all of that, all the wonderful experiences we had together. Even though I knew he had probably forgotten all about me, all about us.

Looking out the window I could almost remember that summer, that summer we met. I could remember him walking into my life in those kinky work boots and khaki pants. I could remember these feelings waking up and finding him watching me from my bedroom door. I remember the occasional kisses in the rose bush. I remember just leaning into each other from our horses to rub our noses together or rest our foreheads together. I could remember the feeling of him drifting away from me when he climbed into the limo that came to pick him up at the end of summer. I could feel him drifting away from me when his letters and calls became less frequent, shorter and became more about mundane things like school. I felt him drifting away from me when the usual promise to see each other stopped happening and I knew he had drifted away from me after that letter arrived. The letter I never replied to.

Closing my eyes I could picture the letter again. Why wouldn't I be able to? I read it every day during that week it arrived and I still had it tucked away in my library in L.A. To remember the precious short time we spent together. Tears pricked my eyes. I could still comprehend it.

                                                                                                                                        Timberlake estate,

                                                                                                                                        Metropolis,

                                                                                                                                        Athens.

                                                                                                                                      October, 5th 2000.