FSA journals: Trapped in her own game

A trip down memory lane

Mitch (POV)
( A/N one of Mitch's home's lounges abroad, during Christmas before he moved to Ghana)

Flash back to 8 months ago before Mitch moved away from home .

I turn seventeen today and as usual I spent it alone with Paz.

I remember a few birthdays back,  when my birthday was a family affair, they'd travel far and wide  to see me on that day . With gifts of all kinds, then on my fifteenth birthday my grandma caught me trying to  steal a kiss from Paz and with a delicate heart condition like her's the shock was too great.

I know how come a kiss that never happened caused her a mild stroke, she was a staunch Catholic and wanted things to be done the right way .

Soon after my grandma fell ill and everyone changed, they all became so cold even my father's older brother,  my favorite uncle, Admiral Carlisle Rivers of the Ghanaian Navy , he was worst hit, as he never got married he dedicated his life to her and her treatment and this made him her favorite.

Years later life with my parents became lonely, cold, bitter, secluded, tortured and all I had was  Paz.

She was the only one who didn't seem to blame me for my grandma's relapse. She  was there for me. She made me laugh, kept me company, helped me out of my worst episodes . I call my angry outbursts episodes. She was always there for me . Our parents were really close so we often spent time together during holidays and other occasions. 

She lived opposite my family's mansion .

Her father was Guilliermo Delgado,  a prominent lecturer at one of the best Universities around. She was smart, kind, talented, a lady, I thought I was in love, I felt as though I'd finally found the one for me . My soulmate, I asked her out but she declined and the third time she finally accepted.

I was over the moon . Everything was going great till I found out she was making a fool out of me ,  Showing our messages to her friends and probably laughing their hearts out as they did  . It hurt me a lot, I loved her soo much at least I thought I did . She was my everything , she was consolation for everything that went wrong in my life, my parents, my curfew, the pressure of being Mitchel Rivers, the heir to Rivers Inc .

I felt destroyed when I broke up with her . She kept refuting the accusations but I wasn't about to take any chances. I avoided her, didn't pick her calls, I wanted her out of my life, out of my system. She couldn't look me in the eye after a while, must be the guilt.

About six months later, during Christmas ,  my Mom, who was very fond of Paz , invited her over to spend the weekend , it was sheer torture especially when my mom made us dance a slow waltz together during a Christmas get together for my father and his associates  .

One morning, I woke up to her beautiful voice singing a Christmas carol in the hallway and the situation  was driving me nuts . I rode away from home, from my problems, from her and I found Rose .

She was the turning point in my life since then, things have happened so quickly, I've barely been able to keep up . When I left, I mean when I was kidnapped, she wrote me letter .

Dear Mitchel,

I'm never gonna understand what truly happened to make you stop loving me, if you loved me half as much as you claimed you did, you would have trusted me and stood by me,like I stood by you, whenever you needed me I rushed to you . I wanted us to remain friends but you wanted more . I gave you a  shot and you disappointed me .You made me love you and you repaid it by distrusting me . I will always love you and  I hope you find someone else who will be all you need and who will love you greatly .

                              Forever  yours,

                                                  Paz.

The hypocrite, this was the last thing I needed, to feel guilt when she deserved every bit of the disdain I showed her. I never intended to be that way with her, if I didn't behave in that manner with her I felt I'd just lose the little resolve I had and run back to her begging for a second chance . I always felt frightened when I thought of her .

Do I still Love her? And if I do, is the love I feel for Serena greater? But more importantly, what was she doing here? How did she find me?

Authors note

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