Golden Hour

23

I didn't know what to say to Harry, I felt that he needed to be comforted but I was at a loss. For the first time in our friendship I didn't know how to be there for him. I didn't realize where I was driving until I pulled into the driveway of the cottage. I felt like we just needed to be alone. We wordlessly got out of the car and I unlocked the front door to the small house. I had never been inside before but the rustic modern farm house decor comforted me. Harry stayed quiet and walked down the hall. I followed him and watched as he laid down on the bed. I stayed by the door frame unsure of what to do, did he need a moment alone? I felt uncertain about everything now.

"Please come here," his cracked voice made my heart lunge in my chest as he looked at me with open arms. I laid down on his chest and he immediately relaxed letting out a big sigh. "I don't know what to think. He was going to come to the show with guns." I knew Harry's stanza on gun violence and I agreed with him, it was a scary thought. "He could have killed you."

"He could have killed you, Harry think about yourself right now, I love how selfless you are but you don't need to be strong for me. We can feel whatever we need to feel, no shame." I squeezed his hand before he nodded.

"Even through everything the lawyer said all I was worried about was you. I can't live without you, if anything were to happen to you-" he paused taking a deep breath. "I love you."

I understood exactly what Harry was saying because that is how I felt about him. "I love you, now, tell me how you are really feeling."

"Honestly I'm relieved, it's over. Yes, it's a fucking scary thought that something bad could have happened tonight but it didn't, he's gone. Out of our lives forever, yes, I am a bit shaken up but we're safe."

"I hate that our first kiss is ruined," I sighed closing my eyes. "It feels like it's been violated."

"I know." he sighed and I looked up at him.

"It's never our time but I think we have to make it our time. I was planing on talking to you about this tonight before the show but I don't want to wait. I want you, I want to be all in. Regardless of Jared being gone I was going to do this because I love you and I was so scared of my feelings for you and ruining things but when I was at the spa your mum literally couldn't stop gushing about how much you love me and how much I am apart of the family and it just clicked. I love you, Harry and I'm tired of living in fear, you make me fearless. So let's make a new memory that's for us," I paused watching Harry's eyes stare intently at me with a small smile. "Kiss me for the first time as your girlfriend, I'm yours Harry." Harry's lips crashed down on mine and we both smiled in the kiss laughing as our teeth hit each other. The happiness that radiated from us was enough to make the bad thoughts go away.

"I love you so much, sunflower."

"I love you, Harry."

Going back to Harry's house after dropping him off at the Forum, I saw all the decorations finished and Gemma and Anne were getting ready. I wanted to feel confident and sexy. . . and slight wind Harry up so I chose my ripped blue jeans, golden sparkly crop top with a slight sweetheart neckline, black heels, and my Gucci bag. I partially chose the new gold top because Harry told me he was excited to sing golden. I lightly curled my hair and washed my face before my making up on. I felt so light and happy as I got ready. Jared was gone. Harry and I were together. It was his opening night. We had a fun after party planned. We were going to have a well deserved fun night.