Golden Hour

24

Harry was very excited. Very, Very excited when I told him we were having a short holiday Monday- Saturday, just the two of us. We had just dropped off Anne and Gemma around 9 p.m. at the airport, so when we made it back to Harry's we both packed our bags and loaded the car so we wouldn't have to do that in the morning.

Arriving at Joshua Tree and seeing where our mini escape was only made me more happy. It was gorgeous here and I was so happy to be experiencing this with Harry.

The house was amazing, and the fact that we were away from everything only made it better. The thought of six days completely isolated with Harry made me feel butterflies, just Harry made me feel butterflies.

I drove us the whole way stopping once to do a bit of grocery shopping for the week which Harry insisted we needed plenty of wine. I wasn't complaining because wine was practically my love language.

I reflected on the past four weeks, thinking about how much Harry and I had been through and experienced. In one sense I wouldn't take anything back, dealing with Jared caused me reopen old wounds that I realized I never healed from and now I could start that journey. It also brought me and Harry closer. Sadly, it meant Harry's own safety was collateral. The only thing I would take back was Harry's safety being at risk.

During my relationship with Jared I got very accustomed to the idea of death, sometimes once he had beaten me severely it truly felt like I would die. . . sometimes I wished I would. So, I could handle the thought of me dying, I had already come to terms with it. But the thought of Harry being the one at risk sent me into a panic. What I hadn't expected to begin to feel over the past months is that I didn't want to die, I no longer accepted the idea. With Jared, I welcomed the thought. But now. . . Harry made me want to live. He made me want to experience life. . . with him because he made me feel alive.

Over the course of our friendship I've always enjoyed how simple being around Harry gave me a desire to experience life and new things. I had almost abandoned the idea of having fun until I met Harry. I was slowly, over the past five years, learning that I didn't deserve what happened to me, it wasn't my fault. Harry was too thank for that. He never realized sometimes how much his words resonated with me, not knowing the demons I fought in my head yet he always knew how to tame them.

"What are you thinking about?" He asked wrapping his hands around my waist and pulling my back into his chest. His head fell on my should and his lips pressed lightly into my neck, it wasn't to provoke anything sexual. . . he was just resting there.

"You." I felt his lips curve into a smile as he sighed.

"Anything I should be worried about, love?"

"Not unless you're worried about how much I love you." He kissed my neck up to my cheek before turning me around this face him with a dopy smile. My hands rested on his chest and I leaned in to kiss him.

I love how our lips fit together, there was no uncomfortable gap, just his perfectly placed on mine moving in sync. His tongue lightly grazed the bottom of my lip asking for me to join him in exploration. The moment I opened my mouth our tongues danced together as no areas were left unexplored. This is how I always wanted Harry.

"I love you, you know?" His words were soft as he rested his forehead on mine. Both slightly breathless from the make out session.

"Show me."

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here we go