Golden Hour

25

Im sorry guys but I literally can't write smut, it's so bad so maybe the more I practice you guys can have a chapter like that later but for now just know they had some bone aching sex! thanks luv!

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I was positive I couldn't move, at least not for a very very long time. Our chests were still rising and falling rapidly as we recovered from our highs. I didn't think I could feel more attached to Harry but here I was. He was incredible. He cared just as much about my pleasure as he did his, even more sow. It was fun. I think we were both nervous because of how much we mean to each other so we shared a lot of laughs. It was so comfortable, I'd never thought I'd feel as confident naked as I did with Harry. Jason always assured me I was beautiful but with Harry he meant it, there was no comparison to past girls. It was just us.

"I love you so much," he said turning over to face me.

"I love you, babe," I said kissing his chest before he pulled me over to rest on his chest as he laid on his back.

I absentmindedly traced his tattoos before he caught his hand in mine and brought it to his mouth leaving small kisses. Sometimes, especially in this moment, when Harry and I kissed I had to remind myself that we were together. It's been officially four days but I had been waiting four years to finally call this green eyed dork mine.

Sometimes it hurt, how much I loved him. I think in past relationships I always wanted to feel the assurance that someone loved me. I mean they said they did but sometimes I still doubted it. Maybe my track record proved how much it was hard for me to trust men. My high school love cheated. Jared was. . . well a fucking nightmare. And Jason only said he loved me because felt like he had too. What if everything was too good to be true with Harry? Part of me knows that he doesn't use the word 'love' lightly. He says it when he means it. Anne assured me our day at the spa that Harry loves me but I still doubt it. Maybe I don't trust myself.

Boys had a way of always breaking my heart. I have yet to love someone as much as I love Harry and I know I won't love anyone as much as him again, which is why the thought of him not really meaning it scares me. I didn't want to bring this doubt into our relationship but I can't help it.

Harry has done nothing but show his love to me so I had no reason to doubt him.

"Penny for your thoughts?" He hummed squeezing my hand.

"How many pennies did you bring?" I laughed smiling against his chest. "Just thinking about you. . . and me." I knew honesty and communication was the key to having a healthy relationship so I didn't want to lie about what I was feeling but I also didn't want to just blurt it out.

"Good things I hope," he joked. If only.

"For the most part," his body slightly stiffened under me so I kissed his chest before speaking about. "I just, really love you. I'm scared of how much I love you. In the past, I know you are not Jared or Jason, but they didn't truly love me despite saying they did. You have shown me over and over how much you love me, I don't want to doubt it. I think I doubt myself. I don't doubt you. I know love is a big word for the both of us, we don't use it lightly." I paused to gather my thoughts. "I'm scared that you don't love me as much as I love you and this is too good to be true."

I didn't know what Harry's reaction would be but I was prepared for whatever it was.

"I'm sorry that you've been so hurt in the past that you can't trust yourself. But, you trust me," his tone was more asking rather than telling.

"With everything in me," I spoke looking up at him.

"Then trust me when I say that I am so deeply in love you it hurts. You're just starting your healing process in so many ways and I am so honored to be on this journey with you. I'm your biggest cheerleader. I never want you to doubt my love for you though because you're right, I don't use that word lightly. I love you, sunflower." His head dipped down to kiss my lips, communicating his love through the kiss. It made me feel weak.

Harry's words struck a chord in me, literally I had five different song ideas coming to mind. But his words also struck a chord in a different way.

"I don't want to bring this fear and doubt into our relationship," I voiced my thoughts. "So, I am going to always try my best to cling to the truth that you love me but I might need reassurance sometimes and patience."

"Always, sunflower."

I rested back on his chest and continued mulling over the song ideas that came to mind as we laid silently. I began to hum a new melody that was coming to mind and drumming my fingers lightly on Harry's torso.

"I promise that when I lose my way I will find you." My words were soft as I interrupted my humming.

"Love is a wild thing," he mused.

Yes it is.

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This is how Cash feels in relationships:

thank you for the reads!!! we're almost at 1k for the whole story which may not seem like a lot but I am so thankful for everyone who reads and votes and comments :)

tpwk

ren xx