It's the age old story of friends to lovers but exactly how long until these friends turn to lovers?
Cash and Harry are trapped inside of the same spinning wheel of fame, music, and success and with nothing short of overbooked schedules and thousan...
I knew I was being a dick. I knew Cash was walking with Sarah in St. James park, she told me on her way out. I had been so distant and I hated it. I knew she felt like she did something, she didn't. She didn't remember the kiss. I was trying to internally process what I was feeling which I was doing a shit job at. I usually process with Cash, but how can I explain to my best friend that she is the reason I am going crazy?
"Kendall," I said hugging her as she met me on the bridge.
"Hey, Harry, how have you been?" she asked standing besides me. I liked that Kendall and I were able to stay friends after our relationship. We both knew and agreed it just wasn't meant for us romantically. She also had no idea what I planned for today, she never would have agreed. Especially since her and Cash are friends. I just needed to know how Cash felt and while I knew this was a stupid decision I would regret I asked Kendall to meet me anyway.
"Good, wrapped the album a few weeks ago, it releases in December. How's the family?"
"Great, Stormi is getting so big. What are you up to in London?" We continued our catching up until I turned around and saw Cash and Sarah walking near where we were. This is where I make my stupid decision. Sarah's eyes met mine for a brief moment and then I rushed out a sentence neither of us thought I would say, "Can I kiss you? For old times sake?" She was confused but shrugged and nodded so I pulled Kendall closer and kissed her.
As soon as my lips touched hers I regretted it. I should have just been brave enough to talk to Cash. After a few moments Kendall pulled away once the shock wore off. My eyes found Cash and Sarah walking away, I knew she saw.
"Harry what the hell?" She gasped annoyed at my actions. "Are you fucking serious?" She asked following my gaze to see Cash and Sarah walking away. "You need to explain."
"I will," I ashamedly agreed. "Come on, I'll cook dinner."
The walk to the car was filled with tension, I could feel how pissed Kendall was and I knew I was a dick. I basically used her.
"You need to start explaining," she said once we stood inside my apartment. I sent Cash a quick text, the last thing I needed was her walking in on me getting lectured by Kendall.
So, I explained everything to Kendall. Meeting Cash, our friendship, realising I love her, how it was never our time. I didn't share about Cash's health journey, that wasn't for me to share. I told her about fucking Jason, I told her about Cash's birthday—the kiss. She listened intently and never interrupted until I was completely done.
"First of all, don't ever fucking use me like that again," she said sternly before softening her exposure. "Second, you are a dick, Harry. Why would you think it was a good idea to kiss me so she could see? Why not talk to her?" These were the questions I had, I couldn't answer them.
"Kendall, I can't lose her. I can't not have her in my life. I rather stay best friends than risk a relationship not working out."
"You don't even know how she feels! You're literally so in love it's hurting you! It doesn't make sense," she shook her head eating the pasta I made for us. "Harry, you need to man up and talk to her."
"I'm so scared," I said softly looking down.
"Of what?"
"My relationships never last. It's not even bad break ups, it's always been mutual. What if it doesn't last with her?"
"Firstly, you aren't giving her any credit, you don't know how she feels. She could be just as crazy about you! Second, Harry, risks are dangerous and scary. That's why they're called risks, and sometimes they are worth taking." I let her words soak in and nod slowly. "Let me ask you this, do you love her like you've loved previously?"
"No," I answer with no hesitation. "I don't know how to explain it Kendall, I love her so much. It's the way she plays the piano, her songwriting process, how she chooses to watch One Tree Hill even though she knows every line. It's how is so comfortable and carefree around me, it's so much more than I ever thought I could experience," I said with a smile thinking about all the reasons I loved Cash.
"Then this is a risk worth taking, you need to tell her, seriously. I've never seen you this happy," Kendall said with a small smile.
"It's so scary, she probably hates me. I've been a dick the past few days," I sheepishly admitted. Kendall hit my arm making me let out a surprised, "Ow!"
"Why are boys idiots?! Harry, if a guy likes a girl he usually isn't a dick to her."
"I was trying to process my feelings so I was just more quiet and reserved and short in my conversations," I shrugged knowing I couldn't justify my behaviour.
"Doesn't mean you get to be a dick."
Kendall continued to help me work through my feelings which I was grateful for, I couldn't exactly process my feelings about Cash with Cash. I never even realised the depths of my feelings until I was able to vocalise them with Kendall. Hearing myself say the words made it seem tangible— more real.
Now I had to plan how I was going to talk to Cash and apologise for my shitty behaviour. I know it's fucked up but at the time calling Kendall seemed like a good idea. See if Cash gets jealous then I'll know how she feels. If her kiss wasn't an indication that she felt something then I don't know what is. I should have just talked to her about it. I knew she wanted it, the way she sighed into my lips and mumbled, "I've been waiting for this," in a quiet voice against my lips told me all I needed to know. So why did I go to the extremes of trying to make her jealous?
"We could drag it a big further, see if she gets jealous," I joked. "OW!" I said again holding my arm where Kendall hit me for a second time. "I was joking!"
"I hope so, Cash is my friend! I wouldn't do that to her, and you shouldn't have either! Using me was a low move Harry. But, I am very thankful you asked before you kissed me. I don't know why I agreed, you just seemed so desperate, thought you missed me," she joked making us laugh.
"I know, I really am sorry. I was panicked and not thinking straight. You aren't an object. But I will always ask before I do anything. The last thing I want is to be the cause of non consensual activities."
"Damn right," she said proudly. "But, I forgive you. Just don't do it again."
I was thankful for my friendship with Kendall. Despite our history we could remain good friends and I was always thankful for how things ended between us, there were no hard feelings. Kendall stayed until 9, I had to be at BBC early tomorrow and she was in town for modelling. I thanked her and apologised multiple times for being a complete arse today. I just want to make things right and finally be honest with Cash.
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We love a consensual king even when he's being a dick.
Thoughts of Harry's behaviour? Thoughts on his friendship with Kendall? How will Cash react?
