Golden Hour

14

Thanksgiving was always. . . interesting. Whether it was screaming babies, or too right-wing uncles, there was bound to be some shit show happening. The only thing that helped was that Harry wanted to come with me. I think he was too scared to leave me alone so when I asked if he wanted to come he couldn't say yes fast enough. Harry and I both decided we'd stay at my grandma's rather than my mom's house. Harry actually adored my grandma and I just found out that they talk on the phone.

"Darling, don't be shocked. Look at him," my grandma said patting his knee. "I stay in contact with all the people I love."

My heart swelled at my grandma's words once I got over the fact that she frequently called Harry. Harry's eyes lit up at my grandma's words and he smiled goofily.

"She helps me with my French," Harry said proudly.

"Il devient si bon!" My grandma said pinching his cheek [He's getting so good!]

"Okay, Grandma it's getting late. Harry and I are going to bed," I said laughing and grabbing Harry's hand.

"Bonne nuit!" She called out before Harry and I both echoed her words. [Good night!]

Once Harry and I made it to the room we were staying in I immediately wrapped him in a hug once the door was closed. Harry's comfort he felt around my family only made my feelings for him soar.

"I love that you and my grandma talk," I admitted looking up at him. Our arms were still wrapped around each other and he smiled down at me.

"I love her, she reminds me so much of you."

"She did practically raise me," I mused leaning my head to the side. "I spent so much time here as a kid."

Harry and I had both this mutual understanding that we liked each other more than friends but at this point there was too much going on for either of us to pursue it. It was always me, I always had too much going on.

Harry walked to the bathroom to brush his teeth while I got dressed in a pair of cotton shorts and a tank top. I met Harry in the bathroom bumping my hip with his as I grabbed my toothbrush and toothpaste. Harry's eyes found mine in the mirror before traveling down to my breast where my nipples could be slightly seen through the fabric of my shirt. A wave of confidence coursed through me as I caught him checking me out. When his eyes found mine again he blushed and cheekily smiled making me laugh. Harry's phone next to me lit up with a notification and he asked me to read it as he spit his toothpaste out.

"Did you tell her yet?" I read out loud, "It's from Kendall." I didn't try to hide the hurt in my face or voice and Harry's face paled. I finished brushing my teeth before looking at Harry with my arms crossed. "Well?" I asked waiting for his response.

"Cash," he said more like an apology. "I need to talk to you about something."

"Is she who you kissed in the park? In London, I saw you with someone."

"It's not what it looked like." I scoffed before leaving the bathroom and grabbing my lotion on the dresser. I put it on my elbows and arms while Harry followed me and sighed. "I wanted to make you jealous. We kissed, on your birthday. You were too drunk to remember," I listened to his every word processing what he was saying. "I sang Golden for you because I wrote it for you. Then we just kissed. I was so scared because I've loved you for four years but it's never been our time. Something has always gotten in the way. It's getting harder to try to think of you as just a friend. I called Kendall to talk to her and I knew you would be walking with Sarah. When I knew you could see I asked Kendall if I could kiss her."

"You used her," I interrupted.

"I know, I was a dick. Once she saw what I was trying to do she was pissed. She never would have agreed if she known I was just trying to make you jealous.

"No she wouldn't have, she's a good friend."

"So, that night I told her I would cook dinner so I could explain why I did it. Which is why I texted you. I didn't even think of how it would look when I sent that, honestly. I just didn't want you to walk in on me confessing that I have loved you everyday for the past four years and I didn't know what to do or how to tell you because I didn't want to lose you." I sighed and softened my exterior.

"I'm mad at you," I said walking closer to him.

"I know."

"You shouldn't have did that to Kendall."

"I know." The sincerity in his voice and the look in his eyes told me he understood just how messed up this was.

"But, I've loved you everyday for the past four years as well," I admitted watching his eyes widen with a soft smile. "But it's never been our time. Something always comes up." I paused and sighed before wrapping my arms around him which he immediately followed and placed his hands on my waist. "I want you, Harry, I do. But right now, so much fucked up shit is happening. I don't want to bring my baggage into whatever it is we decide we want."

Harry sighed and placed his forehead against mine. "That's what I'm here for, you don't have to go through this alone."

"It's bad, Harry."

"I'm here for you."

A tear slipped down my cheek and I cursed every living thing under the sun that the moment I've been waiting for had to be ruined by my psychotic ex.

"I'll wait for you," he said softly looking into my eyes. "Been waiting four years, I can last a little longer," he teased making me laugh. His thumbs wiped the tears from my eyes and his hands rested on the sides of my faces. "Can I just have one kiss?" His request was a welcomed surprise that he asked and I smiled before nodding.

His lips delicately touched mine and I couldn't miss how perfect they fit into mine, molding together. He held us still for a moment not moving, just trying to capture this moment of our lips being pressed together. After a few moments I sighed into his mouth before moving against him with a bit more urgency. It wasn't rushed, it was a slow urgency that made my knees weak. Our kisses became slower and slower until our foreheads rested against each other.

"That was better than my birthday," I sighed earning a wide eyed look from Harry.

"You remember that?"

"I couldn't remember for a while. I had a dream about it and couldn't tell it was reality or not but I remember it. In your room after you sang to me."

His smile grew and he softly kissed me again.

"Let's go to bed."

Laying next to Harry that night felt different, good different. Although we both knew this would be the last time we would kiss for a while. It was true, I didn't want to bring my baggage into a new relationship with Harry. He deserved better than that.

I just hoped this would be over soon because I couldn't stop thinking about his lips on mine.

///

Ahhh my babiessss!! I love Cash and Harry so much!!!!