Thank you, Kelley

Chapter 11

Still Kelley's POV:

I make it back to my room and step inside. I lean against the door as it closes. Wow I am exhausted. As I stand there with my eyes closed I hear someone sniffle. Crap. Julie. She is probably a wreck right now. I open my eyes and make my way into the room fully. She turns and makes eye contact with me. She is still crying and the puffiness in her cheek shows me that she has been for a while now.

"Hey..." I say shyly.

"Hi" she sniffles but also grins slightly as she realizes the state she is in.

"Come here." We embrace in a tight hug.

"Is she ok? I feel so bad"

"Hey, it's ok. She is fine. Her ribs are bruised but nothing is broken. She doesn't even have to miss practice. This isn't your fault. It was just an accident. She doesn't blame you." I say softly trying to comfort her. We pull away from the hug.

"You stink," she says with a laugh.

"Ya well I haven't showered yet," I say giggling at her.

"I just feel bad that I caused her more pain. I mean it's my fault that she had a panic attack. She looked so scared Kel."

"I know she did. But she's ok now. And again it's not your fault." I state again.

"Mm ya. I want to apologize to her though. Do you think that is ok?" She asks me. Wow I have really gained myself a reputation for being protective over her haven't I.

"Ya I think that's a good idea. Just so you know though Sonnett is asleep all cuddled up next to her. It's actually so cute." I say with a grin.

"Aww... young love"

Meghan's POV:

Well shit. That was quite the day. I can't even get through practice without a panic attack. I'm so embarrassed but I know if I keep thinking about it I will probably have another one and that would not be ideal.

Emily is currently asleep cuddled up next to me. She is holding my hand too. I can hear soft little snores coming from her and I think it might be the cutest sound I have ever heard. I lay here not wanting the moment to end. I have realized that I definitely have feelings for this beautiful girl next to me. I don't want to pursue anything because I don't want to jeopardize our friendship but this moment is making me reconsider that. I am admiring her freckles when there is a knock at the door.

Uhhh. How dare this person interrupt this perfect moment. I try to slip out of Emily's grip without waking her but I am unsuccessful.

"Hey come back. Where are you going?" she groans with her eyes still closed.

"There's someone at the door. Sorry." I blush as I get up and hope she didn't see my bright red cheeks.

I open the door to relieve a very red and puffy-eyed Julie.

"Oh hey..." I say awkwardly my face filled with concern. I know I have caused the state that Julie is in. I like her. She is really kind. She usually oozes confidence and happiness but right now I can see none of that.

"Hey. I wanted to come by and talk."

"Oh ya. Come in. Sorry. Umm Sonnett is asleep though."

We hear a muffled "not anymore I'm not" come from my bed. This makes both of us laugh.

"Here we can go out on the balcony." We sit in the two chairs in the small area. It is a warm day. Really the perfect day. There is a soft breeze that helps keep it cool. The sun is shining bright in the cloudless sky.

"Meghan, I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you." Julie starts and pulls me out of my thoughts. "I wasn't paying attention to where I was going and then we just collided. And then that caused your panic attack. I'm so sorry. Are your ribs ok?" She spits out in quick succession.

I am a little taken aback. I didn't realize she thought it was her fault.

"Oh hey! This is not your fault. It was an accident. Ya we both probably could have backed off from the ball a little but it's ok. And I'm fine. My ribs do hurt a little but it's nothing I haven't dealt with before. It was not your fault. And the panic attack could have happened at any time. They are annoying like that. It happened because getting hit in the ribs like that umm... it just brought up some bad memories from my past. But none of this is your fault." The confidence with which I say the last part seems to surprise her.

"Oh. I thought you were gonna be mad at me," she says with a shy giggle.

"No, definitely not mad. You're a good friend, Julie. We are good. I promise."

There's a moment of silence before she says, "So you like Sonnett?" The question catches me off guard and so I don't have enough time to think before I blush.

"Aww Kelley was right. You guys would be so cute together."

"Oh my god. Kelley knows?" I ask genuinely surprised.

"Kid the whole team knows" Well shit. That's not great. Is it really that obvious? She seems to read my thoughts. "You two are so cute and flirty together. You are the only person she gets nervous around."

"Ya I'm not ready for anything yet" I say in a sad voice.

"Hey, it's ok. Are you out to people yet?"

"Umm kind of. I never really told anybody but I had a girlfriend so people just kinda found out but ya. I don't really care about that though. It doesn't really matter to me if people know."

"Mm ya. Everything will work out in the end.'' She says this with such confidence. Well, I'm glad she is so sure because I am certainly not. We make small talk for a few minutes before realizing it's time for us to head to dinner.

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The next couple of days go much better than the first few. Ribs hurt less and less every day. There is still an ugly bruise but it doesn't hurt to breathe anymore so I'm happy. I don't have any panic attacks in front of anyone which is good. I also don't have to be woken up by Sonnett which is nice for both of us. Practice has been going really well as well. Coach told me she was thinking about starting me in our match against Australia in a few days which I am really excited about. I have continued to grow close to the team which is good. I only have one awkward anxiety situation. We were coming back from practice one of the days. I had already been struggling all day with just general nervousness. By the time we made it back to the hotel I felt super nauseous which sometimes happens when I have a bad day.

As soon as the bus stopped moving I sprinted off and up to Em and I's room. I knew I was going to throw up and I wanted to do it in private. I quickly made it. A few moments later I heard Emily enter to ask if I was ok. She then found me throwing up and held my hair back which I was grateful for. We ended up talking for a bit and I decided that I was going to skip dinner because I know it will just come back up and I am too anxious to go down with the whole team. Em had questioned me at this but I explained that Dawn and Jill knew about my anxiety and they told me I could skip anytime I needed. Em looked sad but agreed and said she'd be back later. Kelley had come by a little while later and brought me a small chicken salad in case I got hungry which was very nice of her. Sonnett came back soon after and the three of us watched movies late into the night.

I was really happy. Even if all the days had been filled with panic attacks I was still so much happier than I had been back home. I am so grateful for all the girls on the team. They have taken really good care of me. I am dreading when I have to go back home. Now that I have gotten a taste of what life is supposed to be like I don't know how I am going to go back to what I had before. 

A/N: The next chapter will be up soon. I hope you guys are enjoying it so far!