Thank you, Kelley

Chapter 9

Meghan's POV:

I step out of the bathroom after getting ready and am surprised when I don't find Emily. I really thought she was going to force me to tell her about what had just happened. It is a pleasant surprise that I don't have to explain myself.

Oh, wait she probably took off because she doesn't want to deal with me. I feel bad that my own problems keep interrupting other people's lives. I'm not worth being worried over. As I finish getting ready for my day I see the note she left me telling me she went to breakfast. I check the time on my phone only to find that it's time for me to go down anyways.

I make my way downstairs and enter the room we are using to eat in. I see I am one of the last ones to arrive which is a little awkward. I grab a yogurt and a banana knowing that if I try to eat anything more than this it will come back up at practice later. I make my way towards the tables. I don't know where to sit but then I make eye contact with Kelley and she points to the open seat next to her. I continue to make my way over and notice Emily is on the other side. I can feel anxious, but excited butterflies in my stomach. It is pretty clear that this seat has been saved for me which means Emily chose to sit next to me on purpose. That makes me happy.

Then the events from this morning come back and I realize I should probably apologize. I sit down in between my two favorite teammates.

"Good Morning Meghan." An overly cheerful Kelley says.

"Hi Kel," I respond. "And hello again Emily."

"Hi" she says with a smirk.

We make small talk with the people at our table for a bit. Soon the conversation is no longer directly about me so I use this time to apologize to Emily.

"Hey I'm sorry about this morning. I hope I didn't scare you away. And thank you so much for waking me up." I say in a low tone so only she can hear.

I see pity forming in her eyes. "Hey it wasn't your fault. I'm glad I was able to help. You know I'm worried about you right?" There it is again. All these people are worried about me but why? I'm not worth it. "When are you going to tell people what's going on? And also you didn't scare me away. I didn't think about how it would look when I wasn't there when you got out of the bathroom, sorry. I just wanted to talk to Kelley."

"Oh" I state with more realization and understanding of what had happened this morning. "So does Kelley know?"

Apparently Kelley had heard her name and so was not part of the conversation. "Yes I do Meghan. You kind of freaked Sonny out. She just needed someone to talk to. But I'm glad she did because I want to help you. And back to Son's question. When are you going to let us in and help you?"

Uhhh. Wow so much for not letting anyone in to see my pain.

"Umm never?" I reply hoping they will be satisfied. Obviously that is not the answer they want and I can see they are frustrated with me.

"Ya not the right answer," Kelley says. "It doesn't have to be now but at some point we are talking about this."

"Ya no we aren't, sorry!" I say angrily. I stand up to throw away my food. I realize I have barely even eaten a few bites but I'm not hungry anymore. As I move away from the table I can see pain in Kelly and Emily's eyes. Uhh, nice now I messed that up too. Whatever.

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We arrived at practice and I still haven't apologized to Kelly and Emily even though I know I should. I will after practice I decide. Rose and I sit together again on the bus which makes me happy. We decided that we were gonna be bus buddies from now on too so that's good.

As the team sits on the sidelines getting their gear ready for practice it somehow turns into asking Meghan questions time. I am not pleased by this but then again I realize the team hasn't really gotten a chance to know me yet so I ignore my personal displeasure.

"So where are you from again rookie?" I hear Lindsey ask.

"New Hampshire"

"Ooh... I've heard it's really pretty there," someone says.

"Ya some of it is nice but it's pretty boring." That gets a laugh from the girls.

"So you're still in high school but have you thought about college yet?" This is Christen.

"Umm sort of. Hopefully I can get some scholarships to places with good soccer programs but I don't really know where I want to go yet." This response caused all the girls to start telling me to go to all of their alma maters. I giggle as they all fight over which school would be best for me. It feels nice to be cared about enough that they argue over me.

"Ok calm down guys." I hear Ali say. "What about your family? Any siblings? Oo are they coming to the game?"

My breath hitches at this question. This is the one I don't want to answer. It is so personal. I see confusion in a few people's faces. Crap. Well, I have to answer it.

"Umm... no there not coming to the game." is all I can manage to get out.

I hear some people from across the group say "aww why not" I know they can't see what my reaction was so they don't know why I didn't give more info.

At this point everyone is listening and I know that I'm not good enough at lying to pull off the story that I originally had rehearsed before I came.

"Um... My biological parents passed away a few years ago. I live umm... with a foster family and they ahhh... couldn't make it out." That is mostly the truth. I leave out the fact that my brother is dead too but that is too painful for me. And My foster dad wouldn't come to the game even if he was offered a million dollars just to spite me. And he won't allow his wife who is actually ok to go out without his permission so that's a no go.

I can hear silence around me. I look up to make eye contact with my teammates and see eyes full of pity. Jill calls us to start practice. Thank god too. Saved by the bell. I stand up to move towards the field to start practice. From behind me, I can hear Ali say,

"Meghan I'm sorry. I didn't know."

I turn to face her with a sad smile. "It's ok. Not your fault. No one knew." I am trying to ease the guilt and sadness I can see in Ali's eyes. I then turn on my heel and head over to start whatever drill Dawn wants us to do.

Practice goes on. It's not too exciting. Just a lot of drills and passing practice. It is pretty uneventful which is good. The girls are kind of walking on eggshells around me but I try to keep my mood up to show them I'm good. At least I thought I was until we did a scrimmage.