Writing for a Cause

13. I Thought You Were Never Coming Back

Gerard's POV

Gerard, I'm so sorry for everything. I never meant any of it. The truth is, Axl was being a bitch that day and I really just wasn't in the mood to deal with anything else. I'll talk with you about anything, and I'll tell you everything you want to know. Please don't be upset. I'm so sorry. I'll be back later.
xofrnk

I really didn't know how to take that letter in. Was Frank really sorry, or was he just intimidated by Corey? I wouldn't be surprised, considering Corey was a very menacing person.

I wanted to have hope though. Frank said he would be back, so I had to trust him. After all, that seemed to be what he wanted from me.

That was the 51st letter. Ever since the 50th letter, Frank had stopped writing to me. I couldn't help but wonder if we would continue this or just stop. I kind of wanted it to keep going.

Maybe that could be the way we expressed very personal things? Perhaps if we were too scared to face each other about certain things, we could just keep writing back and forth to each other and talk about things when we were ready. I liked that idea.

It was also pretty lucky that I actually saw the letter in the supply closet. I had stopped checking by habit, but thanks to my keen attention to detail, I caught a glimpse of the paper on my way back to the dorm after going to the bathroom.

It seemed likely that Frank would check back here to see if I had gotten the letter, so with that in mind, I got out a piece of paper and a pen. I needed to tell him about what I was feeling.

Hi Frank. You don't have to apologize. I should've just told you what was wrong. I know that now. I was worried about where you were going, but I didn't want to tell you that, because I was worried that I would come off as clingy. The truth is, you're the first person I've ever allowed myself to get this close to. I was so afraid of losing you over something so dumb, but I guess I kind of did that anyway. I'm sorry. I'll try to trust you more in the future.
~Gerard

That's all I was going to say to him for now. I know Corey said that I didn't owe him an apology, but I couldn't help but feel like I was the problem here. I said sorry anyway, just in case that's what Frank was expecting from me.

I had changed so much all because of one person. When I entered college, I had completely stopped giving a shit about what anyone thought about me. I was only now bringing back old habits because of Frank.

Although I guess I didn't care what anyone else thought of me. I was only trying to be my best self for Frank, and everyone else could to worry over other things.

Is that what love is? Not caring about anyone else as much as that one person? Is that why it hurt so bad when he was away from me?

I had considered the fact before that I may very well love him. It sure seemed an awful lot like it, but I was going to give it a few more days before I said anything.

Folding the note up, I left it on the ground and exited the closet. I decided to walk back up to my room and call Lindsey to see what she was up to.

After about three rings, she finally picked up. "Hey Gee, what's up?"

"Oh, I was just calling to ask how you were doing. That's all."

"I'm doing fine. How are you? Are you feeling any better? How's the situation with Frank?"

"It's healing I guess. Apparently Corey talked with him, and Frank wrote me a letter saying he was sorry. He said he was going to come back, I'm not sure when though."

"That's great news, Gee. I'm sure you two will be able to fall back in line."

"I sure hope so. How are things with your sister?"