A Way To Your World

Chapter 34

AWTYW - Distance

When can we say that we truly deserve something? If we did our best, if we conquered it all, if we sacrificed everything to get it? But what if you thought you deserve it but wasn't really... is it still worth it for?

I know deep within me I could never deserve him, he as well to me. Pero hindi ba pwedeng kahit ngayon lamang sa pagkakataon na ito ay maramdaman ko na pwede... pwede kami sa isa't isa? Was that too selfish of me to think about that?

It's been two days since we had a talked in his office. I wasn't avoiding him, since we still get to see each other here in the hospital and the plantation. But I gave myself a small distance from him. I was thinking. I was still thinking about the situation of ours. Ayaw kong magpadalos-dalos na naman dahil sa aking nararamdaman. I'll be an idiot if I have no idea what he meant by me being the reason why he pursued this job. But I still need clarification. Gusto ko malinaw kung anong meron sa amin. I love him, that never changed. But does our hearts have the same intensity of feelings? Confessing those to me wasn't still enough. I could have love him, but he could have like me. At ayaw ko iyong ganoon. Gusto kong lumabas mismo sa kanyang bibig ang mga salita na iyon. I don't want to deal with another heartbreak from him. Baka hindi ko na kayanin.

"So, there are no more complications about him, Dr. Allerro?" Tito Enzo asked him.

Grandpa was getting discharged today at kahapon lamang umuwi sina Tito Enzo galing Sweden. At sina Mom naman ay kauuwi lamang ngayon.

"Kasasabi lang kanina na okay na ako, e," pagrereklamo ni Grandpa.

Bahagya naman ngumiti si Drexel na naging dahilan ng paglabas ng dimple niya at saka bumaling kina Tito Enzo.

"Yes, Mr. Moberg. But our medical team will be giving you instructions on how to take care of Don Philip," he said before simply glancing at me and continued to explain. "Though, even you, Don Philip, should know how you can take care of yourself. Just by refraining from heavy lifting, always getting plenty of rest, and caring for your incision wounds."

"Sounds a lot of boring weeks for me, again," Grandpa said lazily.

"So, you can recovery faster, Don Philip." He smiled at Grandpa. "Though, even without complications, recovery from heart bypass surgery can take 6 to 12 weeks. That’s the least amount of time it takes for your breastbone to heal. During this time, you should avoid heavy exertion."

"Well, as if Papa can carry most stuff. The only thing he can carry now is his cane," pabirong sinabi ni Tito Enzo na agad nakatanggap ng sapok sa ulo.

He groaned but couldn't complain when Grandpa hit him with his cane. Some of us laughed with that, but my parents couldn't even smile with it.

Drexel cleared his throat. "As I was saying... I highly recommend a cardiac rehabilitation."

"And that is?" Dad asked.

"Well, it involves a regimen of carefully monitored physical activity and occasional stress tests to see how Don Philip's heart is healing. But it is still up to you and the patient if you want him to do it," he explained.

They all talked about it and argued about whether they would do the cardiac rehabilitation. Ang kaso lamang ay ayaw ni Grandpa, sawang sawa na raw siya sa ospital at gusto na raw niyang umuwi. And while they were convincing him, I was just sitting on the sofa where both of us were just looking at each other. No words were coming out from our mouths, but it feels like our eyes were communicating with each other. I missed him... from that two days of distancing myself from him, to keep my boundaries and to remind myself. But now, all I want is to be with him even for a few seconds. I am even contented seeing him here in front of me.