Beyond The Screen (J.JK x M.SN)

Truth Untold

(JK POV)

"I still want you."

"I still want you, I do."

My thoughts wouldn't give me a break. I felt terrible. I felt guilty.

I felt like trash for doing that to Sana.

She wanted to keep in touch, but I can't bring myself to look at her again. Not after what I did.

I'm a terrible person. I got her hopes up and I panicked and I ended up hurting her.

I'm still not ready yet. If I am going to be her boyfriend, I want to be able to love her unconditionally and effortlessly. I don't think I can do that right now. It's just too hard.

I'm still trying to figure things out. Is this what I really want? I'm scared. This isn't like me.

I've never felt these kind of emotions before.

(SN POV)

He said he needed time.

He said he wasn't ready.

So why did he tell me in the first place?

Everything's shifted and we're not talking anymore. I think he's either too scared or too ashamed to come back.

I try to just forget about it and focus on work, but every night before I fall asleep, my thoughts go back to him.

Maybe he didn't actually like me. He just liked the idea of being with me. I had hopes for us. I genuinely liked spending time with him, but now everything's all messed up.

I can't even call him. I can't even text him. It's too much.

I'm not one to keep all my feelings bottled up so I told Momo and Mina about my issue.

I tried to explain everything as well as I could, but I was still kind of confused about some things.

"Why would he ask you to be his girlfriend if he isn't ready to be in a relationship?" Momo asks.

"Right? That's what I'm saying!" I sigh.

"Well what are you two doing now?" Mina asks.

"Nothing. We're doing nothing. I haven't spoken to him in weeks." I explain.

"Guys are weird." Momo says.

"Just give him the time he needs." Mina speaks up.

Momo and I both turn and listen to what she has to say.

"Maybe he is the right person for you. Maybe you just had the wrong time." She shrugs.

I thought about what Mina said later that night.

Right person, wrong time.

So when is the right time?

Is there a right time?

Eventually, I finally got myself to stop thinking about him so much. I was fine again.

Until the SBS Music Award Show.

Christmas had passed, another one of Twice's albums had been released, I spent time with my members and my family, I was doing alright.

And then I saw him again. I saw him sitting there with his group, both of us dressed up all nice, sitting there in silence.

Nayeon-unnie told me that he kept glancing over at me, but I wouldn't look back.

If he still wanted to be together, he would say something.

That's what I kept telling myself.

I didn't want to give up on him. I didn't want to move on to someone else, but I'm never going to get this time back. I spent all of these months waiting on him. If after all of this, he doesn't want to be together after all, I don't think we can still be friends.

I can't look at him that way anymore. He's not the Jungkook I used to know.

(JK POV)

"Dude, what are you doing? Say something!" Tae elbows me and whisper-yells into my ear after we pass Twice backstage.

"I-I can't." I look down.

She probably hates me now. I lost my chance. I still don't know if I'm ready.

I spent most of the show lost in my head, thinking about her. I couldn't approach her. I couldn't get myself to say anything.

It wasn't until the show was over and we got back to the dorm when I finally did something.

I opened up that old app and I messaged her through there.

Justin: Look, I'm really sorry

Justin: can we please talk

Justin: I swear I can explain myself

After two hours, I wasn't expecting her to reply, but she did.

Yua: this better be good

So she was mad at me.

Justin: okay

Justin: Can I call you instead? It'd be a lot to type out

She called me and I answered, hearing her voice again after all this time.

I tried to be as open and honest as possible. I let her ask questions and I answered them truthfully.

"I'm sorry I wasted your time." I apologize.

"After all of this," she says, "do you still want to be together?"

"I do." I was telling the truth.

It went quiet between us.

"Do you still have the same feelings for me?" I ask.

I hear her sigh, "To be honest...I don't know anymore."

I did this to myself.

"It's been so long, but I was still holding onto you." She says.

"My feelings never changed about you." I confess.

"So what are we then? What is this between us?"

I pause and think.

"Can...can we just start over..?" I ask.

"I think that would be best.."

"I promise I won't let you down this time." I tell her.

"So you're saying..."

"Please...give me one more chance."