A Fool For Him

39 - The calm after the storm

"Where's Jason?"

It was the first two words my mouth said when I woke up. I sat on the bed and watched my parents and Reige just look at me with those sad eyes.

"Ba't hindi niyo ako sinasagot? Asan si Jason? Asan siya?!" I was being hysterical already and they had to call the doctors and nurses to give me a doze of something to make me calm.

"Asan si Jason? Mom, asan siya? Please tell me he's okay... Please tell me where..." I trailed off and felt myself drifting to sleep.

The next day, I found myself sneaking out of my room. Reige was asleep kaya nakatakas ako. He's a heavy sleeper, by the way.

Lumapit ako sa nurse station and asked where the heck he is. "Asan ang room ni Zero Greil?"

Oh shit. Hindi pala Zero Greil. "Jason pala."

"Jason?" the nurse raised her brow at me.

Gosh. Ano 'yon? Mon... Mont...

"Ahh. Montello. Jason Montello." I replied.

She searched for his name and after a few seconds she told me what room he was in. I thanked her and went to find his room. I ran even though my head was hurting. I just want to see him right now.

Narating ko na din ang room niya. Nakatayo lang ako sa harap ng pinto na parang tanga. Tangina. Ito na talaga.

I opened the door and saw the room was empty. Ano 'to? Ba't walang tao? Ginagago ba ako ng nurse?!

"Ate..."

I turned around and saw Viono standing at the door. Her eyes looked like she was just from crying. Red and swollen.

Linapitan ko naman siya. She looked like she needed some hug and so I did. "Asan si Jason?"

"He's been in the ICU since last week." humagulgol na siya ng iyak.

"C-Can I see him?" I asked and she nodded.

Nang makapasok ako sa ICU ay napahugulgol ako ng iyak. It hurts to see him in this state. Nag-aagaw buhay. Para akong pinapatay. Gusto ko ngang mamatay nalang, e.

He was pale. And he lost weight. Wala na. He wasn't the Jason I knew. The healthy, strong, alive Jason. The beeping of the machine was all I could hear in the room. Wala nang iba. Napakatahimik dito.

I almost lost it. Para na akong mababaliw. Para akong pusang ligaw. Hindi ko alam kung anong gagawin ko. Hindi ko alam kung saan ako pupunta.

"Jason, don't give up. Stay with me. Please. Mahal na mahal kita." I sobbed while holding his cold hand.

"We still have to fulfill our dreams, Jason. You promised me. Please... Wake up."

And that was the last words I said to him. Hinila na ako ng mga nurse papalayo sa kanya. May tinusok sa 'kin na kung ano at parang nanghina ako. I saw Reige, Viono, and my parents looking worriedly at me before everything went black.

~

After I was discharged from the hospital, I locked myself in my room. I stared at the ceiling then at the pills I've been taking.

I feel numb.

I haven't heard any news from Jason. They wouldn't tell me what happened to him. And it was probably because I didn't ask. I guess I was just afraid to find out about his state.

It has been days and I've never felt so high in my life before. I was a wreck. Alam ko 'yon. But that's because Jason's not here with me.

"Jason is in a critical condition, hon. And kailangan na siyang ilipat ng ospital. Sa US na daw muna."