virago|c.g.|

xxxv

If anyone could describe Clary as she walked through the streets of Alexandria, there was only one word they could use.

Terrifying.

The girl walked with purpose in her step, her eyes dark and her hands clenched in fists. She knew where she was going. She knew what she had to do. She knew what repercussions her plan held but she also knew that Rick and the group needed her to kill the Saviors. After everything she had trained for, everything she had done, it couldn't end without her being there.

So, with a paper weighing heavily in her pocket, she didn't stop until she reached the front door of the Grimes household. However, her thoughts only raged on as she thought of Maggie and Glenn. She thought of the fear in their faces as she told them what she was going to do. Clary had been excluded from the meeting to formulate the plan, Rick saying he needed her to let Carl know about what would be going down. She had, only to come home and find out from Maggie and Glenn that Rick's plan kept her not in the heat of battle but right in the small community, waiting. The girl had been pissed to say the least, realizing that Rick still saw her as a little girl rather than a soldier he claimed he was trying to see her as.

"Clary, you don't have to go through with this. We— we'll tell Rick about it after and maybe he'll be kinder—" Clary had shook her head at Maggie's suggestion, her heart clenching upon seeing the woman's desperation. "Rick told me I needed to step up, and I am more than willing to do so. But now he doesn't even want me to be there!" The girl sighed. "I need to be there, Maggie. Ending the Saviors? It's all I have trained for since my sister was killed. I can't just stand by, I can't. I won't."

The woman knew Clary well, and she knew that she felt the need to be the end of the Saviors. That they should end by her hand. But it didn't make Maggie any less terrified. "What if Rick kicks you out? What if he finds a worse way to punish you?" Looking to the window, Clary saw night close to falling. "It doesn't matter what Rick chooses to do. He needs to know that he has me, that he has the one weapon the Saviors fear. If he chooses to let me go, to get rid of the Angel of Death, I still won't let you all go through this alone. I'll be there, whether or not Rick wants me there, because I am not letting you fall. I can't, not after what I've seen." Clary took a deep breath before making her way to the door. "I'll make Rick see that he needs me, because he does. Whatever happens after, it'll be okay because I know you and Glenn, Enid and Carl, all of you will be safe without having to worry about the Saviors. And that's good enough for me."

Clary had walked away without another word as she knew that, if she had stayed, Maggie would have been one of the only ones to make her stay. With the others being Glenn, Enid and Carl, she had been lucky that they were not around. Glenn had been angered upon hearing what she wanted to do, leaving the home to clear his mind. He hadn't known she would use it as her window to prevent him or the woman with her to stop her. As for Enid and Carl, they were both in their separate homes. Clary could only hope Carl wouldn't be at home when she confronted Rick.

So, staring at the door with all hopes that the conversation would go the way she needed it to, she knocked on the door. She stood there for a few moments, hearing nothing on the other side of the door as she waited. As she brought her hand up to knock again, she was surprised as it swung open to reveal Rick. "Clary? What—" the girl didn't let him finish. "We need to talk. Now." Rick couldn't say anything as she pushed past home causing him to fall back slightly. He looked towards her to see she hadn't faced him, not knowing that she did so because she was trying to calm herself.

Shutting the door, the man approached her and made a move to place a hand upon her shoulder. "Clary, is everything alright—" as his hand fell upon her shoulder, he was stunned as she ripped herself away from him to face him. Her eyes were dark with anger. "No, nothing is okay because you still don't trust me. You still don't see me as a soldier." The man clenched his jaw, having hoped the girl would not have heard of the plan he had formulated when attacking the Saviors. "Clary," Rick began, only for the girl to shake her head. "No— no, you're going to listen to me now," Clary declared, standing toe to toe with him. "You said I needed to step up. You said I had to be ready, and I am. I have been ever since I first saw the Saviors. I know them better than you ever will, so tell me why you have me on the sidelines?" Clary asked, watching as the man sighed.