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I quickly placed my phone on the bedside table and turned around to force myself to sleep, but I just couldn't do that. Nang makaramdam ako ng gutom ay napagdesisyonan kong bumangon. I checked the clock and it's already 9 pm. Tulog na naman siguro si mommy. Maagang natutulog iyon at maaga ring umaalis.
Habang binabaybay ko ang hagdan pababa ay naalala ko ang sagutan namin ni mommy kanina. Maybe what happened the whole day is taking a toll on my body, adding tiredness to my system that I didn't realize what I was saying in front of her. 'Yung mukha nya nang sigawan ko sya sa harap nya ay hindi maipinta. I trailed all the things I've said at napapatutop na lang ako ng bibig. I hope mom wouldn't brood over those things I spat.
Though, they were all true... Wala akong planong sabihin iyon sa kanya. Sobrang pagod lang ako kanina at nagatungan lang dahil sa pagsigaw nya kaya hindi ko napigilan.
I was tiptoeing as I reached the floor to walk inside the kitchen. Napahinto lang nang makarinig ng boses mula sa living room. A faint audible familiar voice can be heard from there kaya lumapit ako saka sumilip. Nakita kong nakatayo si mommy with her nightwear at may hawak na cellphone na nasa kaliwang tenga nya.
"Akala mo ba hindi mahirap ito sa 'kin, Marvin?! You always treat us like a spare tire! Ano? Babalik ka dito pagkatapos mo dyan na parang walang nangyari?! Goodness, Marvin! May anak ka dito!"
I flinched when I heard Daddy's name. Nagdalawang-isip akong lumapit pero sa huli ay hinayaan ko ang sarili ko na makinig sa pag-uusap nila.
"Whatever, Marvin. Ewan ko na lang kung may babalikan ka pa dito pagkatapos mong iwan si Maerinne. Our daughter is searching for you, and I’m running out of reasons to say! I don't like lying to Maerinne, Marvin kaya uwian mo ang anak mo dito at ikaw mismo ang magpaliwanag."
Marahas na binaba ni mommy ang tawag at humarap. Nagulat sya nang makita nya akong nakatayo at nakikinig sa pag-uusap nila. My eyes fell on her cellphone, where he called Daddy. Hindi ko maiwasang isipin ang huli nyang sinabi.
"Anong ibig mong sabihin doon, mommy?"
Huminga sya ng malalim bago ako tiningnan. "Gabi na. Matulog ka na."
"No..." I almost raised my voice in protest. "If you really hate lying to me, why don't you answer me honestly, now? Nasaan ba talaga si daddy? Iniwan ba talaga nya ako para sa trabaho, mom?"
"Maerinne, please..."
"Nasaan sya? Nasa ibang bansa ba gaya ng sabi mo?"
"Maerinne!"
"Answer me, mom—!"
"You want the truth?!" panghahamon nya sa matigas na boses at matalim na nakatitig sa akin. The light here was dim that I could hardly see her bloodshot eyes. "Wala sa ibang bansa ang daddy mo! He's here in the Philippines!"
Napasinghap ako. Although, I was expecting she'd say this, hindi ko parin mapigilang madismaya. Mas mabuti pang nasa ibang bansa si daddy para may dahilan para hindi sya makabisita sa akin... but knowing that he's just here but he hasn't visited me yet hurts me like no other.
"W-Why did you lie?" nanghihina kong tanong sa kanya. "I thought you hate lying to me?! Bakit ka nagsinungaling, mom?!"
"Because I don't want to hurt you!"
Mapakla akong natawa saka umiling-iling. "May isasakit pa sa hindi pagpunta ni daddy dito para makita ako? Sobra-sobra na nga, eh!"
She kept on shaking her head kaya nagtaka ako. Paiyak na rin sya kaya lalo akong naguluhan dahil sa reaksyon nya.
BINABASA MO ANG
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