🎶 Nang magkasama tayo
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Sebastian
While I look into her eyes all I see is her pain and anger towards me. And I cannot blame her for that. I cannot contest to that because she has every right to get mad at me. She has every verdict to be furious at me.
And it's not her fault still that my heart belongs to her. After years without her in my life, my heart and soul remained hers.
If only she knows how much I struggled to find her. If only she knows how much I lost myself without her. I've realized that you can only feel how much lost you have when you already lost that particular person. I should have given her a reason to stay. I should have provided her more information that day. I shouldn't have pushed her. I should have explained my side better. Dahil kahit itanggi ko, alam ko sa sarili ko na ako ang nagtulak sa kaniya. I haven't chosen any of them that day. But I have chosen to hurt her.
Ayokong maulit sa akin ang nangyari sa mga magulang ko ngunit sadyang ginagago ako ng kapalaran dahil umabot pa ako ng limang taon sa paghahanap sa kaniya. And it made me curse at myself more because she's just here. She breathes the same air as I do. She lives in the same place as I do.
What have I done? Saan ako nagkulang sa paghahanap sa kaniya? My father failed to find my mother and my brother Savi for almost six years and I failed to find the woman that I love for five fucking years.
I sat down totally intoxicated with alcohol.
" Matthew hanggang kailan ka ba magiging ganito ha?" It was Kara. The woman who have been with me through the years. The woman that I have loved for years. But I cannot give her my heart because it was already stolen by a woman who left me. After Marian, I did not love another woman. Nawalan na ako ng abilidad na magmahal pa ng ibang babae bukod sa kaniya.
If love is Marian's way of revenge then it worked. Our courtship and love might have blossomed in numbered days and short times but the years that we have been away from each other attests that my love for her endured the test of time.
" Nakita ko na siya Kara." I stated calmly as I drank more from my bottle of beer. Her face paled at my words.
" Sa-saan mo siya nakita?" She asked. Tinungga ko iyung bote ng alak na hawak ko bago ko siya sinagot.
" Coffee shop" That was all I could say.
She guided me when I almost dropped the bottle of beer because of too much intoxication.
" Go home Kara. I don't need you here" I closed my eyes when I felt her hand on my chest. Mabilis ko itong inalis sa dibdib ko.
" Hindi na ba natin maayos ang lahat Matthew. Bakit ba hanggang ngayon ay sa babaeng iyon parin ang pagmamahal mo? Minahal mo din naman ako eh, bakit hindi nalang ako?" She said. Paulit ulit nalang kami. I already told her why.
" Go home Kara. Masama sa 'yo ang magpuyat." I told her as I carried myself to leave the living room.
" You know she hates you, Matthew. Alam mo iyan. Hanggang kailan mo hihintayin na mamahalin ka niya?" She asked once more.
" Until she will love me back, Kara. Until she accepts me again" At hindi ako titigil hangga't hindi niya ako mahalin muli.
Marian
Ang bigat ng pakiramdam ko ng makauwi ako. Nakita ko iyung kotse ni Sid na nakapark sa tapat ng bahay kaya alam kong nasa bahay siya at baka kalaro si Sean.
