Bittersweet - Larry

5

I woke up with a headache Tuesday morning, snuggling further into my duvet after I had turned off my alarm. Even the bit of sunlight that was visible around the edge of my curtain was enough to make me close my eyes again. I had spent most of the night turning everything over in my head, but no matter how much I tried, I couldn't get used to the idea of living with Harry. Or perhaps it was the fear of wanting more. Not being allowed to touch him was gonna make me want to do it again, simply because the idea of it turned me on.

My mom had already left for work, and I sighed in relief as it gave me the option to skip first period. I could usually deal with school despite having a headache, but not when the first class was PE, and I hadn't gotten the amount of sleep I should. I took a couple of painkillers before I got in the shower, standing there for longer than what was necessary, showers always allowing me to clear my head.

It was clear to me that if Harry was equally as turned on by the thought of it, I'd let him have me again. I'd break the rules if I was unable to control myself, and I suppose that was what worried me the most. At the same it was awfully unlikely that Harry wanted me again as he never went for the same person twice, him and Zayn having that in common. It made sense enough for me to understand it, Harry not wanting to give anyone false hope by sleeping with them more than once, and I doubt I was gonna be the exception just because I told him I wasn't interested in dating him. He didn't trust me, so as far as he knew, I could've acted uninterested to make him interested. It wasn't the case, but Harry didn't know me well enough to tell lies apart from the truth.

Liam didn't have PE with me, but I texted him anyway, knowing he was gonna be confused if I didn't show up at his locker before class. I smiled at the smiley he sent back, the fact that it was crying reminding me how I felt when I didn't get to see him in the morning. It was disappointing when it was a routine for us. I hadn't told him about dinner last night because I knew he was gonna tease me about it and remind me how awkward it could potentially turn out to be. I was gonna find it funny eventually, but last night I had needed time to take it in without his comments. 

The hallways were empty when I got to school as I had gotten there twenty minutes before first period ended. I sat down against the lockers and pulled my laptop out of my backpack and onto my lap, deciding to start on the essay I had postponed for too long. I couldn't get very far in twenty minutes when I needed to do research too, and I had barely written down the first sentence when I heard footsteps, looking up to see Harry in his gym clothes.

"Skipping class, are we?" he asked.

"Something like that." 

He hummed in response and went into the bathroom across the hall, once again making me wonder why there wasn't a bathroom in the locker room. It was inconvenient and especially now that Harry was the last person I wanted to see. I didn't write a single word during the two minutes he was out there, yet I still refused to look up when he walked out again.

"You know you don't have to feel guilty, right?"

"Yes."

"We didn't know, Louis."

"Shut up."

"Why are you acting like it's all my fault?"

"I'm not."

"Louis—"

"Would you just shut up already?" I snapped, looking up at him to see him raise his eyebrows. "You barely have to adjust to this, Harry."

"You don't think it's gonna affect me?" 

I never implied I was the only one needing to adjust. Harry was used to his own family, not to talk about routines and it was gonna affect him too. Maybe I was selfish for feeling like the situation was worse for me than it was for him, but he needed to see it from my perspective.