Bittersweet - Larry

15

"Liam, I—"

"Don't bother," he interrupted, closing the door behind him as he left again. 

I sighed and got off Zayn's lap so I could move back in the bathtub again. 

"Is he okay?"

"No, I messed up."

"By kissing me?"

"He called dibs on you."

"He did what?"

"Don't act so oblivious." 

He sighed and slid further into the bathtub so he could look into the ceiling instead. "If I tell you a secret, are you gonna tell him?" 

"Not if you don't want me to."

"I can't stop thinking about him." 

I smiled in response, but he kept looking into the ceiling. It surprised me Liam had gotten through to him. Not because it was Liam, but because it was Zayn. He had made it very clear he didn't want romance, so the fact that anyone had gotten through to him was a miracle.

"It's okay to be scared, you know." 

He looked at me again, chewing on his bottom lip before he spoke up. "Were you struggling too?"

"Not like this." 

I had been where Zayn was, so I understood why he was scared, but I had never been afraid to the extent he was.

"How did you get past it?"

"I got tired of suppressing it."

"How long did you do it for?"

"Not very long, so I can't even imagine how tired you must be." 

He teared up but blinked them away before they fell. This was the first time I truly realised how tired he was of fighting it. I still wasn't sure why he decided to confide in me, but perhaps it was easier to talk to someone who was gay and not someone who had decided he didn't like labels. There was nothing wrong with Harry's decision, but I could imagine it was easier to talk to someone who wasn't into girls as well. Had Zayn been into girls, too, he would've tried to stick with them, but he can't do that, so I'm probably his best option since he won't talk to Liam. 

"I'm not ready yet."

"No one is forcing you to come out, Zayn." 

He nodded, and I took his hand, holding onto it while I sat with him in silence. I knew I needed to talk to Liam, but he needed space before I apologised to him. I hadn't technically done anything wrong, but at the same time, I had. In reality, Liam didn't have any right to tell me I couldn't kiss Zayn, but it was a mistake nevertheless, and I knew that. My relationship with Harry couldn't be compared to whatever Liam and Zayn were, but I'd still be rather annoyed if Liam kissed him. There were certain rules that shouldn't be broken when it came to boys, and I had just broken one by kissing someone he had called dibs on.

"Are you gonna let Harry kiss you again?" 

I looked at him again, sensing his need to change the topic. "Maybe."

"Really?" he asked, sounding rather surprised. "I thought you were a lost cause."

"Is that what he said?" 

"Yeah."

"I'm not."

"I'm sure he'll be happy to hear that. I have a feeling you're different from the rest."

"I'm no different, Zayn, I'm just more interesting because it's forbidden."

"Don't you think it's interesting yourself?"