Bittersweet - Larry

6

My new room was bigger than the old one, and I was lying on my mattress on the floor, looking into the ceiling while Harry and Gemma rebuild my bed after having rebuilt my closet. Their house was bigger for obvious reasons, but I already missed the cosiness of living in a small house, alone the fact that my room was now upstairs being something I wasn't used to. There was a safety gate at the top of the stairs along with the bottom, and I had a feeling I was gonna need instructions on how they worked. There were still glow-in-the-dark-stars stuck to the ceiling as it had been Gemma's old room when she was younger. Desmond had told me they hadn't come around to take them down yet, but I was planning on keeping them up. It reminded me of my ceiling from when I was a kid myself and that made me feel more home than anything else.

I was wondering where my mind was gonna take me when I knew Harry was constantly gonna be right across the hall. I hadn't noticed it when I talked to him Tuesday morning, but now there was a noticeable tension between us. We had been sitting at each our table during lunch when I first noticed it and the way he was looking at me made me want to do certain and very inappropriate things to him. He knew it too and the sexual tension was getting to him the same way it was getting to me, but while he seemed more confused about it than I did, he also didn't act like it bothered him. He wasn't particularly subtle when he looked at my ass, but I also didn't have an urge to ask him to stop.

"You want me to get her?" Harry asked when Sophie's crying could be heard through the baby monitor.

I looked towards them when Gemma told him yes, and Harry got up, letting Gemma continue with whatever she was doing. I looked back into the ceiling while he went to get her, continuing to think everything through and for the first time since they told us, I felt like it was gonna work out okay. Maybe it was because I had processed it by now or maybe it was because the stars in the ceiling reminded me of home.

"You feeling okay?" Gemma asked.

"I think so."

"It's weird, you know? Our dad hasn't been this serious since our mom, so it's gonna be quite an adjustment to have your mom around."

"They seem happy."

"Very," she said. "I think we both like her. And you too."

"I didn't think you did."

"I'm sorry if I gave you that impression. It has just been a long time since I've had a mother figure, so it's gonna be strange."

"Guess we have something in common, then."

She reminded me of the simple fact that I was gonna have a stepdad while never having had a father figure. I hadn't thought about it until now, but that was gonna be an adjustment too.

"You don't have a dad?"

"I do," I said. "I just don't know who he is."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be."

"You don't like talking about it, do you?"

"Not really."

It had never been a problem for me to mention I had never known my dad, but it wasn't a topic I wanted to talk about in detail. There weren't any details either way. My mom had offered them to me, but I had refused to let her tell me anything, nor show me the pictures I knew she had. Maybe I'd get there someday, but despite being seventeen, I didn't need to know who he was yet.

"Our mom died, you know? She was in a car accident when I was fifteen, and... it's not easy to talk about, but it helps."

"I don't have anything to talk about, Gemma. I have no idea who he is."