Bittersweet - Larry

29

"This was in the mailbox." 

I looked at my mom while she pushed the photo across the kitchen island. Both Harry and I were sitting down while our parents were standing on the other side. I even couldn't tell who looked more displeased. 

"Can you give us an explanation?" Desmond asked. 

"What is there to explain?" I asked. 

For a moment I considered lying. The photo made it obvious that we had kissed, but it didn't prove more than that. For all they knew, it could've been our first kiss. It could've happened before we knew they were getting married. Something that hadn't happened since. After all, they couldn't tell when the photo had been taken. But even thinking about it made the guilt bubble inside me and as much as I wanted to lie and get us out of it alive, I couldn't.

"How should we know?" he asked. "It's your explanation."

"There's not much to say," Harry mumbled, discreetly putting a hand on my thigh to calm me down. 

I took his hand and intertwined our fingers, receiving a squeeze in response.

"How about the truth?" my mom asked. 

Her anger had turned into disappointment. I could clearly hear it in her voice.

"It's not the only kiss," Harry said, taking a breath before he continued. "We uh... we slept together before we knew you were dating."

"How many times?" Desmond asked.

"Just once." 

I couldn't look my mom in the eyes. It was a mixture between the obvious disappointment and the fact that we were talking about sex.

"How long before?" 

Desmond seemed less bothered by the subject than my mom. I could only assume that was why he took the initiative to talk. I let Harry talk too because I knew I was gonna cry if I took over.

"Friday before you told us."

"Why did you continue?"

"We weren't going to," Harry continued. "But then we kissed at the hotel. And then one more time afterwards. And so we agreed to stop after the wedding instead."

"So this happened before the wedding?"

"No," I admitted quietly, finally finding the courage to speak up—perhaps I was afraid Harry would lie. "That happened yesterday."

"So you didn't stop?"

"No, we had sex again after the wedding. And we've been doing it ever since." 

I could feel my mom's disappointment, but I couldn't lie to her. I knew she'd come around eventually, but it hurt me that I had hurt her.

"What could possibly have made it so hard to stop?" Desmond asked.

"I'm not sure I wanna tell that?" Harry mumbled.

"Right, okay."

"What were you thinking?" my mom asked. "You're stepbrothers."

"That doesn't mean we're related," Harry said.

"It means you're family, so you can under no circumstances continue doing whatever it is you're doing." 

This was what I had feared. Our parents' approval was nowhere to be found. There was no use arguing about it, and Harry knew that as well as me. But there was something else in his eyes. Almost as if he suddenly agreed with them. I had my own reasons to find dating inconvenient, and suppose he did too. Not only did I not want to date him in secret, but I was also doubting our ability to make it work. I wanted to, and I believed we'd somehow find a way to make it work, but I was hesitating all at the same time. Yet when I thought about it, I'd do everything not to lose him. We could easily go against our parents and do whatever we pleased. I hadn't thought about it before because I couldn't afford to lose my mom over something as silly as love. But now I was genuinely considering it, and perhaps I could talk to my mom without Desmond and explain to her why it was so important for me to keep Harry in my life. Not just as my stepbrother, but as my boyfriend or at least as whatever we were now. Yet Harry decided to break my heart before I got that far.