Bittersweet - Larry

21

I walked away. I knew where we'd end up if I let him kiss me, so I didn't. I wiped my tears away before I went back into the venue and sat down across from Liam and Zayn despite their kissing. I took Harry's plate from the table and ate the rest of his cake, finding pleasure in using the fork he had used. I kept it in my mouth for longer than what was necessary and watched Liam and Zayn as they made out, their tongues moving visibly against each other.

"That's a lot of tongue." 

They looked at me with confused expressions, picking up on my odd mood as I kept eating Harry's cake.

"What happened up there?" Liam asked. 

"I think it's gonna be a while before we're on speaking terms again." 

This was different from the last time we had a falling out. I barely felt like I could call it that the last time, but it was obvious this time. I didn't blame him for being frustrated, but we had an agreement, and now he was mad because I stuck with it.

"Why?" 

I shrugged in response and closed my eyes as I enjoyed the taste of the cake. I wasn't in the mood to talk about it, nor was I was in the mood to watch them slip back into their make-out session, so I left instead. I wandered around the hotel and found Gemma at one of the wending machines, the band-aids on the back of her ankles indicating her shoes hadn't been all that comfortable.

"Wasn't desert enough?" I asked as she reached down to get the gummy bears she had bought.

"Guess not," she smiled as sat down next to the wending machine and leaned against the wall. "Where did you leave Harry?"

"I think he's still upstairs."

"You think?"

"He's just..."

She gestured to the spot next to her to make me sit down. "He's just what?"

Harry was mad because he didn't get his way. It was unfair, but I understood why he was acting out. I wanted him as much as he wanted me, and maybe I shouldn't have left without talking it through with him, but I knew where we'd have ended up if I had stayed. 

"I don't know," I tell her honestly. "But we never meant to get involved, you know? It just happened."

"I know."

"Do you think it's weird?"

"No, it's just very inconvenient." 

I hummed in response and looked down at my fingers as I fiddled with the tip of my tie. I understood the inconvenience of Harry and I being more than just stepbrothers. I understood what it would do to our parents' marriage, but at the same time I didn't, and I couldn't let it go.

"I keep thinking it might not be that weird if we continued."

"It wouldn't," she said. "At least not if you keep it a secret."

"What do you mean?"

"You don't share the same DNA, nor did you grow up together, but that doesn't mean it isn't frowned upon. Dating openly would cause a lot of unnecessary attention." 

I wasn't planning on dating Harry, but Gemma was right. If we continued fooling around with each, the best option was to keep it a secret. But it worried me. Not because I was afraid of getting caught, but because I was afraid of falling deeper into him. I had never been into romance, and I wasn't looking for love, but I had a feeling I was gonna fall in love with Harry if we lost ourselves in the pleasure of being together. Maybe even without it. Liam was right about me changing my mind if love came to me, but it was bound to end in heartbreak. Not only because Harry's commitment issues were bigger than mine, but also because it wasn't gonna lead anywhere.