You Only Live Once

Friday- 12/6/2020

Hey 'o people who read this. Also, thank you for reading this and voting for this. Suddenly, I have some sort of hobby of creating wallpapers for phones. So I did create one for my sister and I. It is really cute. A pair wallpaper... and that was probably all the good stuff for today. Now comes the bad stuff. You know that virtual library I wanted my books to be published at? It's slowly dying. All my fellow authors can see that. The mods can, everyone can. The chats die everyday and they die for longer times. Banana isn't there anymore, and more of them are leaving. It saddens me a lot. Cookie had left yesterday. And today the librarian riots began. All because of Tea and Matt removing the librarians. The desk, the cult room... gone. Dave's now sitting on the floor next to that lamp. I always wanted to visit the cult room. But now... it's all gone. It sad to see all of them go. All of them who have been working soo hard and just abandon it all. I re-read all of the 130 pages of messages they had sent before I got here till up to date. It is just... it collapses your world. It tells you that things just aren't meant to last. Unless you defy the odds and make them last. Then there's what Cookie said to us about a month back:

In life, we'll always be loosing people. Some of them clearly aren't right for you they step out of your life, others, do it for the greater good. People always come and go. Every person will teach you something. That being friendship, love or a lesson. People will definitely leave and yes, it will hurt. But know, the right people will always come running back, no matter your relationship or what the circumstances are. — Itz_Cookiie —

And then there's Rain, who didn't exactly teach me anything, she was the spirit of everything. She said this and I quoted it because it was kind of funny. But maybe it'll be best not to share it. Because it is sad. But it's kind of a single joke. And then there's that one person who I had connected to a lot... but not in the DM everyday kind of thing. Just the regular chat with the other authors about their books kind of thing. I called him a she once. And he got mad. But when the authors talk we never use genders. We're all equally the same. You don't call me she when you talk. It's Mim to you. To them, he was BananaPhone. The comedian the person who always wanted to kill the chat. The person with 30 books in the library. The person who went to 9pm writers studies with me and Aria, our teacher, the admin. The person who taught me about the Hemingway ice-berg theory. The tea set theory. And many other theories we had never finished learning or I had missed those classes. And then there's the whole set of them at vent support, which includes me. I had learnt an important lesson from them.

*Warning!!! Mentions of suicide and violence. To those who do not like that please skip the rest of this chapter.*

Suicide. Something always mentioned by the readers, authors, mods, and the other hr's. In vent support you'll always have to deal with those... except I was the vent supporter who just listened to their problems without saying wise words to help them solve it. But I did learn this: You can't tell someone not to do it. People say that telling them all the bad stuff if suiciding will make them stop. But it's not. You can't tell them what will happen to them. They won't listen. Because why bother keep on living in this nightmare, just face those consequences later. But what we really should be telling them is why we should keep on living. Things get rough sometimes but it can only get better. There are people in this world who care. If it is about that person, or they just care about everyone's wellbeing. If anyone didn't know, teenagers suicidal percentage is a lot higher than the rest of the age groups. I figure it's due to too much pressure and not having anyone to talk to. Some of us can't talk to our parent's because we know what they would have to say about us. They would keep going on and on about what would he open in afterlife if you suicided. "You'll go straight to hell." "It's selfish." "Bla bla bla."
But we're thinking, "So what if it's all that? At least I escape this nightmare. At least I won't be here anymore. At least— bla..."
I'm thinking about this one thing about parents. Listen to your dang children when they speak. Don't say a word when they talk unless they want you to say something. Otherwise, I don't think they would ever talk. I had learnt how most of those suicidals just needed someone to talk to. A friend who wouldn't betray their trust. I'm thinking everyone needs that. But if that's all about this then that's it for today's entry.

-Avery-

(15/4/2020)