The unspoken emotions

Hidden fears

And here begins the new journey for our sidnaaz unknown ,unanticipated ,unexpected ,unplanned and uncertain ....
Sana's Inner thoughts -
"Main yahan aa to gayi hu sab theek bhi lag raha hai on the face of it but ek ajeeb sa darr lag raha hai
what will this time spent here lead to
for how long everything will remain picture perfect
Will my happiness last long
How would Sid take this situation
What's after
Whatever proximity happened between us may be was just heat of moment as Sid will never ignore his practical logical side
Would I still remain part of his normal life also post this lockdown
He is experienced has been in many relationships n break ups but what about me
What if all this brings me back into a state which I hv overcome with so much effort
Will I be able to handle being broken once again
I can never love anybody with this intensity ever again
He still hasn't confessed is he still unsure about me or may be I am only his time pass till he gets busy in his work again and get better options outside
I cannot tolerate him with anyone else how will I face that scenario
He has been a playboy getting close to girls is normal to him and moving on also
What if he gets involved with some better girl who may happen to be his costar
I am still scared of his temperament
Thinking all this which were facts of life and Sana being mature as she has seen life through was aware about everything and decided to keep distance till they resume their normal life and decided to avoid and ignore physical proximity with Sid
She knew it wouldn't be easy for her as in her
mind she has already surrendered her life to him and was beyond grateful for Sid to even consider her as a part of his life as their worlds were actually different and time will take its own course
And she would only know once things become normal whether Sid can accept her as her girlfriend and beyond or not n how their equally successful careers in their own spaces coexist !
—////
Sana's chain of thoughts broken by Sid's tight hold around her waist and whispering "good morning sweetheart "in her ear .
Sana felt warm and nice and held his hands replying " good morning "
She got up instantly saying " let me get tea for both of us"

Sid's pov
Ironically Sid was thinking like sana he was thinking of making best of this time and make every moment memorable and was happy that now he is free of cameras and need not be conscious
God has gifted this time to both of them he of course being an over thinker was protected towards her when she steps into her new successful life and also thought to stand by her while she takes steps to reach the heights of success in her career
Encourage her motivate her guide her through everything
I will be there for her as what I leave that choice to her
I need to give her time to adapt accommodate and adjust in her new life
.........

Sana clicked the door open to get him back from his overthinking mode
Sana handed over his mug to him and sat on couch intentionally
Sid immediately reacted saying "come here  sweetheart sit next to me for a change nobody's watching finally...."
Sana obliged as she didn't want to make him feel awkward but still she sat at a distance
Sid further stated " now onwards I will be the one making tea for both of us as u taught me and also like the taste of tea made by me "
Sana smiled and nodded .
Her inner self smiled at this new Sid she wanted to adore him kiss him love him but she held herself fearing this won't last long and then she will suffer more ...
Whole day Sid was too clingy and was roaming behind sana while she intentionally kept herself busy in household chores ! His mom also was witnessing this newly found kid in him . He was around tadofying sana all day and helped her  also wherever he could
Sana was all praises and admiration for this new Sid
Sid's mom went to freshen up while sana was making dough to make chapattis for dinner
Sid took advantage of his moms absence and instantly hugged sana from behind placing his chin on her neck and his breath on her neckline send shivers down her spine and she was feeling weak . She softly tilted her face to avert his access to her neck and softly scolded him saying " mat ker sidhaaarth aata gundne de dinner ke liye late ho jayega "
Sid replied moving to other side of her neck lost in her warmth nuzzling her softly " hone de"
Sana was struggling to
control as Sid's closeness was beyond sensual and could only say " hmmm please" moaning badly
Sana's hAnd were all dug in wet dough so she couldn't even use her hands to move him away
She again pleaded " Sid please mat kar na maa aa jayegi fir main kya bolungi unse"
Sid now was with his whole face dug into her neck and was not even listening anything he slowly circled his hands on her waist tightly pulling her more closer to him with her back touching his chest .
Sana finding it impossible to evade got hold of herself and sternly told Sid " stop it Sid else I will put all of this wet dough in your hair and then u answer mom"
This thought got sids attention and he made faces and complained " how rude n cruel u r and told ek shart per u will sleep next to me in my room today else I am okay u putting dough in my hair and will tell mom what u cannot even imagine"
Listening to this our poor innocent sana nodded n uttered " ok whatever leave me for now at least "
Sid smirked and told " that's like a good girl "
" Abhi ke liye jaa raha hu" n he went to freshen up .
Post dinner , they all bid goodnight and Sana intentionally didn't go to sids room
Sid waited for an hour and then that was it
He angrily went to her room and sat on couch like a adorable kid in anger and uttered cutely " u broke ur promise"
Sana loved him more at that sight but somehow controlled n acted cold saying " which promise I never made any promise "
Sid was shocked to hear her reply and the sidharth shukla inside him came calling before sana realised he lifted her in his arms and marched into his room without breaking eye lock with her . Sana's eyes widened at his this reaction and she didn't make any noise due to his mom .
She changed her reaction from surprised to angry by the time they entered his room and the moment Sid locked the room and made her lie on bed she sternly asked him " what is it "
Sid is aware that sana is scared of dark so he switched off the light at the blink of his eye . Sana ran and hugged him tight out of fear to which Sid naughtily smiled and hugged her more tightly rubbing her back
Sid uttered " better behave nicely with me n keep your promises baby else u know me "
Sana tried to free herself from his embrace but Sid it is so she miserable failed .
Sid started placing wet kisses on her cheeks n face all over then looked into her eyes and said " no darkness can touch u till I am there"
To which Sana replied being in subconscious state of mind " what if when u will not be there  I need to learn to deal with all darkness myself only na"
Sid was not expecting this response and was shocked and quite for a minute now sana was hugging him tight placing her face on his chest .
After a moment Sid replied " what made u think so baby " Sana immediately realized what she uttered would hv hurt him so she started laughing hiding her emotions " kyu washroom me light chali jayegi to !"
Sid also smiled thinking that she was joking n teasing him but as it was dark he couldn't see her moist eyes because of mere thought only.
She tickled him and got herself free from his embrace to lighten up the atmosphere and ran to switch on the light wiping her tears on the way hiding it from Sid !
Sid chased her then they both slept in each other's embrace
Although sana was happy inside to be in this space with Sid and making these memories but fear of tomorrow was not leaving her mind when she will be away from him what will she do then as Sid s becoming her habit and she being person of heart will become helpless ... she also dozed off soon thinking about her insecurities of tomorrow .. shying away to enjoy present completely
Let's see what coming days bring in ....