𝗯𝗮𝗯𝘆𝗴𝗶𝗿𝗹 | 𝗺𝗮𝗿𝗸 𝗹𝗲𝗲

𝔰𝔱𝔯𝔲𝔤𝔤𝔩𝔢 𝔱𝔬 𝔰𝔱𝔞𝔶 𝔞𝔣𝔩𝔬𝔞𝔱

hana's pov:

a/n: continuation of previous chapter

"so they had the nerve to listen and not do anything?" yeri asked in absolute disbelief in her voice.

"basically." irene said, trying to keep the conversation short. we made it inside and took an empty studio. we sat in the back where there were seats and a small table.

"what do we do now?" soyeon said.

"before we do anything, we need to talk. i know we all got attached to this boys. but this is an issue, we're at the point that we're expecting them to protect us. they have a idol life and a reputation to uphold as well. that might be their reason for not stepping up. but, we need to stop getting attached. let's try to avoid our feelings for them. whether its feelings or just genuine friendship with them, its coming off as unhealthy for us. let's just keep our distance for now." irene said trying to get us to realize, we've fallen too deep into this hole expecting them to save us. we collectively nodded and sat there quietly, trying to digest everything that has happened.

"do you guys have to lose weight before tomorrow? i still need to lose like half a kilo." yeri said looking down at her body is disapproval.

"from what i remember from our last weight check-in, we all had to diet. it's fine. we dance it off tonight? plus we'll get our minds off of things." irene said while placing her phone down and starting to get ready to dance for quite a bit.

"i'll go get us water from the cafe before they close." i said, grabbing my phone that had money in the case and walked out hoping it wasn't closed yet. i turned to the right to see the cafe light still on. i quickly rushed there to buy some water bottles. after purchasing the water, i walked back inside the dance room to see taeil, doyoung, jungwoo, yuta, and lastly jaehyun.

"why do all of you look exhausted?" yuta said greeting us with high fives after putting his duffle bag down and sitting on the floor on the side.

"ah we had practice with the other boys for the special stage. plus we've been on a strict diet since we have to be skinny for the stage." irene admitted. i began to pass the water bottles to the girls and realized the boys and the girls were in a circle. there was no room so i somewhat awkwardly stood outside of the circle not knowing what to do.

"hana come, sit here." jaehyun said, patting a small space on the floor next to him. i nodded and sat down.

"we'll just wait for you to finish your practice, it'll be bad if we leave and you girls walk alone after in the dark." doyoung said looking at the time on his watch.

"it's fine, you guys can go ahead. you guys look exhausted." i said trying to pull on jaehyun's hoodie emphasizing them to go home and rest. jaehyun slightly smiled at my action and ruffled my hair.

"it's fine, we're barely even tired. go ahead." he said pulling on his hood over his head and giving a gentle smile at the girls. the girls and i nodded, said thank you then started practicing. we turned the music down so that the boys could at least attempt to get some sleep. we occasionally turned off the music when we saw the boys on the brink of sleeping so that they could rest. the girls and i began to practice without the music, knowing the boys were officially knocked out. we kept counting, trying to polish the moments in the dance, min-jun criticized. around 1 am, we finished and saw the boys sleeping, huddled together in the small corner. we smiled knowing that we deeply cared for these boys like family. the girls and i took selfies with them scattered on the floor and couch seeing them peacefully sleep. after packing our things, we woke them up. luckily they woke up easily after just shaking them.

"wow, you guys practiced for like more than two hours. anyway, let's go now." taeil said getting up first and helping the boys grab their belongings. we left the sm building to get on the dark sidewalk. we quietly walked just looking at the scenery trying to enjoy the moment of rest we have from our idol lives. i began to feel cold while walking, i wrapped my thin cardigan around my exposed tummy.

"why did i wear a sports bra?" i whispered to myself, beginning to shiver but i rubbed my hands together in hopes of feeling warmth. only after a couple seconds, i saw jaehyun beside me grabbing my hand and putting it in his hoodie pocket. i was about to snatch my arm away jokingly, but i felt warmth from his hand that was in his pocket. jaehyun must have a heat packet in his pocket. i look up to see him already staring at me. i mouthed a 'thank you' to him, not wanting to tell everyone that jaehyun was basically holding my hand. i felt my heart racing at the small action he did for me. he's like the older brother i've always wanted but never had. we stayed like that until we entered the dorm to see the boys tiredly on the couch sleeping. why would they be sleeping here if they obviously have their own beds and rooms? the boys woke up to the many sounds: the door opening, the boys opening the door to their personal rooms, bags dropping on the ground. the girls and i briefly did a group hug before having to head into the boy's room. i walked towards mark's room without acknowledging him. i could tell he entered after me when i heard the footsteps of his slippers. i continued picking a sleeping outfit and changing in the bathroom. i got back out to see mark writing in his lyric book. he must have a lot on his mind. he mostly only writes when he needs to let out his emotions. i walked out of the bathroom after freshening up and it was now 2:45 am. i was immensely tired and hungry, but i knew being a burden was bad. i drank the remaining water in my water bottle and plugged in my phone to a charger. i walked to the light switch and stood by it looking at how mark wrote ever so gently on the paper.

"is it okay if i turn off the light? i can sleep with it on." i said, rubbing my tired eyes, scared of even looking at him in the eye.

"um yeah." he said, closing his book and placing it away. i waited until he got under the blankets. i turned off the light and went to my normal side of the bed. i turned my face to the opposite side. i just needed time to think. who would've thought my life would end up like this. fighting with idols, getting upset with a choreographer, falling behind, getting sloppy. my mind filled with negative thoughts that i didn't realize tears quietly streaming down my face. i kept having to lift the sleeves of my hoodie to wipe the tears that kept falling. i soon felt a warm hand grab my arm and comfortably rub their thumb over my palm to calm down. shit, mark must've noticed. i could act like i'm sleeping. i shut my eyes in hopes he didn't catch me crying.

"i'm sorry i couldn't protect you, hana. i should've done better. sorry for being the reason you got upset. i don't expect you to forgive me any time soon. i understand. i'll give you time. goodnight beautiful." i heard mark quietly whisper to me while still holding my hand. and with that, i feel in deep sleep with millions of thoughts finally put to rest.

a/n: any suggestions? :)