𝗯𝗮𝗯𝘆𝗴𝗶𝗿𝗹 | 𝗺𝗮𝗿𝗸 𝗹𝗲𝗲

𝔦𝔱'𝔰 𝔰𝔞𝔡𝔩𝔶 𝔞 𝔭𝔞𝔯𝔱 𝔬𝔣 𝔩𝔦𝔣𝔢

third person:

"it's for sure been a long day girls." irene said trying to break the tension she noticed in the room. hana fixed up her blank expression and smiled silently hoping the girls didn't notice her settle mood change.

"i agree, don't worry. after we eat, we can go ahead and rest. now those boys will be home any minute now so let's sit and wait at the table, shall we?" hana said grabbing the cold pitcher from the fridge and heading to the table and settling in her normal seat. hana took notice the burning stares she felt on the back of her head, but acted as if she wasn't aware. right as the girls sat down and were fixing up a few of the dishes with last minute seasoning, the boys entered in abnormally quieter than their chaotic selves.

"what's wrong boys?" soyeon asked as she watched the boys put their things down silently as they sat in their normal seats.

"we'll talk about it later." haechan whispered as the boys sat down waiting for someone to start eating. hana realized it would be a good time while everyone was eating to talk to her parents. she had to catch up on some business, that she felt was being to choke her more than ever. she kindly grabbed the plate of grilled meat placing a few pieces on each person's plate with a subconsciously forced smile. when she finally focused on mark who was beside her, she noticed him fidgeting. she took note to ask him what was wrong. she was so oblivious, that she didn't notice every single one of the boys were quiet, and yet she only noticed mark.

"hey, i need to catch up on a call with my mom. i meant to call her, but our meetings ran long. go ahead and eat." hana said while grabbing her phone and turned to mark and her room. she was unaware that the built up tension in the room, was concern for their youngest.

~

"hey mom, i have a question."

"yeah hun go ahead."

"do you and dad still need a deposit of money from me for this month?"

"i'll have to check our bank balance. papa's medicine dosage increased which means higher prices. is there a reason? are you okay?"

"no mom, i'm okay. i just might need to use some of my work money that goes to you and papa for a doctor visit."

"doesn't our health insurance cover for doctor visits?"

"well, yeah but i mean. i need to visit a specific doctor and ask about something."

"doctor dahyun?"

"yeah.. i mean.. i don't know."

"honey, you know you can always talk to me."

"well, i don't know. i saw some comments again during our live and i feel like i need to have a talk with her to ensure my anxiety isn't coming back up. i had a feeling it would come back at some point, but i want to stop it before it gets as severe as during high school."

"hana, don't allow those comments bother you. you are an amazing person inside and out and i know that. i've raised you into who you are today. you are strong and you can do this okay? you have a huge family away from home. the girls, the boys, and mark. you're not alone. depend on them if you need to."

"well, i just don't want to be a burden for anyone. anyway mom, thank you. back to the question though. i can still send money to your bank account for papa's medicine, but it'll just be a little less than usual. is that okay?"

"no problem honey. now go eat some food, get some rest, and remember tomorrow is a new day. let me know if you need help setting up an appointment. you know how busy and popular dr. dahyun is."

"don't worry. i'll take care of it and call her personal phone after dinner."

"okay, love you hana. stay strong."

"i love you too mom, tell dad i love him too. bye"

hana sat on her bed thinking about what to do. she didn't want to be burdensome to anyone. she knew that the boys must be exhausted with their schedules, especially mark and taeyong considering superm's 2020 comeback. she didn't want to burden mark, yet she wanted to tell him about everything. she felt so innerly conflicted that she didn't realize that she was slowly falling at the seams. her insecurities starting to show more than ever, the thoughts that flooded her mind was filled with doubt and questioning. she just hoped from the bottom from her heart, that she wasn't becoming a hassle for anyone. she physically stood up and looked at the mirror as she gave herself the most genuine smile she could trying to get the negativity out of her head as she thought to herself, 'you're so much more than the thoughts and comments you're obsessing over, hana. try to get through the day, because tomorrow is a new day.'

~

"hana hurry! the boys will finish the bulgogi! i tried to save some for you, but johnny and yuta are being hogs right now!" yeri yelled as hana quickly rushed from the hallway to the table and sitting hastily to see the serving plate of bulgogi nearly finished. as if it was slow-mo, she noticed a pair of chopsticks reaching out, and she quickly leaned forward and put the last piece in her mouth before anyone else could. laughter rung out in the room as their youngest was always so enthusiastic about food.

"aw you're getting cuter everyday hana." yuta said patting her head before putting a piece of his portion of bulgogi on her rice bowl. hana struggled to reply back right away since she didn't take into consideration how big the piece of meat was in comparison to her tiny baby-like mouth.

she felt a napkin come up to her view as she turned to see mark holding up a napkin up to her mouth, signalling her to mouth her hand aside. as she was about to reach for the napkin, she felt mark shift closer to her and wipe the corners of her mouth and swiftly reverted his attention back to his food. she felt a familiar feeling filling her stomach with butterflies and the feeling of her cheeks burning. and with that, everyone went back to eating and in minutes, hana felt as if her family away from home, is the people surrounding herself. she just hoped for the millionth time that day, that she wasn't burdensome.

word count: hii everyone! i hope you all are doing okay. don't forget to take care of your mental health and if you ever need someone to talk to, let me know :) don't ever be afraid to reach out!