100 more days of loving you | renhyuck

96

dear donghyuck,

im alive!

i shouldnt have to say that when all i have done is gone to sleep, but i do.

after going to the doctors i got so scared that i wasnt going to make it through the night.

if i wasnt so sleepy i wouldve just pulled an all nighter

im like ready to die, but im also not...

i just want all the pain to go away and everything to just stop.

i need my thoughts, my feelings, just everything to come to a halt.

the only way thats really going to happen though is if i die.

although looking at the letter number i guess we are getting pretty close huh?

i dont like looking at the letter numbers.

i really dont like to today.

thats a big number.

4 year old me couldnt even count to it.

5 year old me barely could.

and now its sitting here, staring me in the face.

and just like for 5 year old me, 100 was the final number.

im so incredibly close, but i really dont want to be.

i miss back when it said 69. 96 is just wrong.

everything about this situation is wrong though.

no one deserves to lose a friend while still in high school.

no mother should have to bury their own child.

but i guess life works like that whether we want it to or not huh?

maybe i will do something with my life tomorrow.

give me something to write about and you something to read.

that would be nice.

i love you hyuck

your dying friend,
renjun

what?

its not 3am june 3rd

no, i didnt miss a day...

oops

-NctzenGrass🏳️‍🌈