just 100 more days~
book 1 of the 100 days series
lowercase intended
(re)started: 09.26.21
finished: 06.06.23
Warning:
-angst
-mention of death
-some hinted nsfw parts
-cussing
*letter format (short updates)
~this story is 100% fiction and is meant...
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dear donghyuck,
good news, jenos birthday party went very smoothly
at least from what i could tell sitting on the side watching you guys have all the fun
i dont know what hurts more, my sickness, or seeing how you guys will be without me.
i saw it for the first time, you without a teammate, you guys without me
but thats not what hurt.
god i wish it hurt because i wasnt there
i wish it just hurt watching you be happy without me.
if you guys had been happy without me, i think i wouldve been happy.
content.
jenos birthday was supposed to be fun and chaotic.
it was supposed to be like last year when everyone was throwing each other in the pool.
when jaemin said he didnt want to get in but jeno pulled him in anyways and before jaemin could get mad he confessed.
it was a beautiful and perfectly chaotic day.
we played games and laughed loudly.
we drank too much soda, ate too much cake, and we of course watched too many horror movies at night for the birthday boy.
this year wasnt like that.
i wish we couldve given him more, and you tried, but i think my sunshine has been having cloudy days.
sadly i am more than aware that i am the cloud :(
we didnt get in the pool despite it being warm today. we barely drank soda, the cake was left untouched, and i had to go home so i dont know if you watched horror movies.
no one laughed loudly, we barely played games.
i miss us.
i keep saying i miss things but i do.
i really just do.
♡♡♡
i love you sunshine
your dying cloud, renjun
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