Upside Down

(22) Lobster Urine And Blonde Dudes

Chapter 22

Seafood : Good :: Piss : Not So Good

The lights swirled like colors blending in a paint mixer and the faster we went the more it looked like one blob of solid color. The tent, the stars, the night sky, they all faded until you felt like you were about to black out, a solid mass of paints pouring around you and the air rushing past your ears making your hair fling around. I could smell the popcorn and cotton candy in the air I felt slightly cold but with Kriss by my side I felt a lot warmer. My back was pressing against the edge by the sheer force and as we slowed down I wondered if maybe I had spun it a little too hard.

The blob of colors separated to their normal shapes and colors and though we had stopped spinning I felt like I was still moving. To my side, Kriss giggled again still squashed to my side like peanut butter on jelly and neither of us could walk straight for shit. I can still feel the rush.

"Let's go on it again!" Kriss shouts and I laugh.

"We've been on it ten times already!"

She snorts, "No, we've been on it eleven times, silly." Oh, right I should have known that, sarcasm! "It's so fun. I like this place." She yawns beside me, her arms clutched around my left arm. "We should come here every day! I'm glad you took me here, Emmie." I just smile at her, that's all I can do. She's too sweet, too innocent, what have I gotten myself into?

I should probably take her home, she seems really tired. As if to prove my point, she lets out another wide yawn and snuggles closer to my arm as if it's a pillow. I don't know what it is about Kriss but she just makes you want to hold her close and keep her to yourself forever, always protect her, always watch her and make sure she never gets hurt.

Never again will she get hurt.

I will not allow that.

Ever.

"Emerson! Emerson! Emerson!" Someone shouts and I turn around. It's Paul, "Thank god I found you! Charmaine told me you were here."

"Paul, what's wrong? Why do you look like that?" I ask seeing how tired he was as if he had just ran a mile.

"It's Grant."

He didn't have to say anything else.

"Where? Where is he, Paul?"

"At the seafood tent over by the food street,"

I was already heading towards there.

"Em, what's wrong with Grant? Is he okay?" Kriss asked me. For a moment I felt bad because even though I had kept a tight grip on her, I had forgot she was with me. Her shorter legs were having trouble keeping up with my long strides so I picked her up and tossed her onto my back for a really rough piggy-back ride.

"I don't know," I answered her honestly as I jogged and she bounced along. I regretted not asking more about it from Paul but as soon as I thought that I had turned onto the street with the food stands and heard the shouting.

What was happening? Were the cats attacking? Would they attack at a festival with humans everywhere? No, they were stupid but not that stupid. Was someone hurting him or attacking him? Was Grant hurting or attacking someone?

"... You could please a woman they wanted you to!" Someone shouted from inside the tent.

"Go fuck your blow-up doll! And I bet even he wouldn't want to be with you!" The familiar sound of Grant's voice startled me as I came into the tent.

"What the hell is going on?" I shouted and all eyes turned to me. Kriss whimpered beside me but I kept a steady gaze over Grant and the human whose blonde hair was spiked and his aero-postal shirt was too tight over his chest like it was three sized too small. Grant stood protectively over his pregnant wife, Sara, whose baby was cradled in her arms.

I internally scoffed, yeah Grant couldn't please his wife that's why they have a child and a baby on the way and they couldn't keep their hands off of each other.

Grant looked at me and the strain on his face was one of pure hatred. I could see his hands twitching as if he could shift any second. "Hey, Emerson," Grant grumbled. "I-I, uh ..."

"You brought your gay lover here too? What's he going to do, choke me with a feather boa?" The blonde human laughed obnoxiously. I could see all the humans standing around nervously and frightened. The human was obnoxious and loud and very, very stupid.

"Shut your mouth, you moronic insolent dip shit!" Kriss hissed beside me inn a calm manor like always and I looked at her in shock.

"What did you call me?" The human growled at her and I growled back at him.

"What you didn't hear me? Or are you too stupid to understand?" Jeez, Kriss is bad ass. "Now I suggest you leave before I cause some real damage."

I think it took a second or two for her words to sink into the blonde idiot's skull but when it did, he wasn't too happy. "You pathetic piece of sh..." The blonde charged at Kriss but before I could do anything, Kriss grabbed a lobster and tossed it onto the human's face. The man screamed, the lobster latched onto his hair and nose making him scream in terror. "Uh, it sprayed something in my eyes!" He screamed still running around like a chicken without a head.

"That's urine," Kriss informed us, "lobsters spray urine from bladders in their heads when they feel threatened or are in a fight."

How did she know this?

I didn't know and didn't have much time to contemplate it because the man quickly tossed the lobster off, his used-to-be-perfectly-styled hair was now a gelled mess and going in every other direction. He looked like an enraged bull on cartoons, red faced with steam coming out of their ears. Then he charged at Kriss and I didn't even think before I grabbed him by the back of his shirt and slammed him into the ground.

"Look, boy," I growled in his face. "Don't ever mess with my friends. I don't ever want to see your ugly face again." He nodded vigorously and as soon as I let go he ran off out of the tent. Thank god that was over. "Better Grant?" I asked my friend.

He nodded and sent a thankful look in my direction. "I don't know what's been up with me lately. Normally I would brush a human off, he's just a stupid human right? But ... I don't know. I haven't felt normal lately."

Like Drew.

"It's okay, but I want to take you to the doctor soon. Something has been happening and I'm afraid of what it is." I told him and he just nodded. "Well, go home and get some rest. Call me if you need anything."

"Will do," He nodded and tipped an imaginary hat at me before he and his wife walked away, a baby in their arms.

"Emmie, I'm cold." Kriss whimpered from beside me with her teeth chattering loudly, hugging herself, my arm, and the jacket around her. "Can we go home now?"

"Sure, still got your dog?" I asked and she excitedly held up her stuffed brown dog. "Good, now let's go home."

~~~

My dad just randomly called me one day and told me how Lobsters had bladders in their heads so when in a fight they secrete urine to blind their component. I was all WTF at first but I then I was like "I'm going to use this." I didn't know for what but I knew that somehow I was going to use this. So that's why I want to give a big thank you to my dad! Thank you!