Caressing My Perplexed Stella [HS #3]

CHAPTER 28

Bumagal ang sasakyan, mas mabagal pa sa pagpapatakbo ni Aster kanina. Nakita ko pa kung paano nag-overtake ang sasakyan ni Kuya Lennon na ngayon ay lulan na ni Aster.

"Did you plan this?" Huminga ito nang malalim, nanliit ang aking mata nang isang mahabang katahimikan lang ang isinagot niya sa akin. "Ibaba mo na lang ako! I don't want to be stuck with you!" I exclaimed.

I was hoping that he'll look at me with rage in his eyes yet he remained calm. Halatang pinapahaba niya na lang ang pasensya.

"You told me you can't stand my silence yet here you are! Aster told me to lie low, fuck, I don't understand that jerk for letting you be here." Sa aking sinabi ay naging matalim ang tingin niya.

"Don't curse, Dale." I laugh sarcastically.

"Then tell me why? Why do we need to talk when there's nothing to talk about? Si Kuya Meteo ang kausapin mo, kayo dapat ang mag-usap dahil kayo naman ang gumagawa ng pag-aawayan niyo!"

"Don't shout please," Parang dasal niyang sabi, ngumuso ako at humalukipkip. Kahit naiinis, hindi ko maitangging may namumuo ring saya sa aking puso na kahit anong pigil ko ay alam kong wala rin akong magagawa.

"Then, why? What did you two talked about? Kung sasabihin mo lang na masyado akong bata para maintindihan, ibaba mo na lang ako." Humigpit pa lalo ang kapit nito sa manobela. Tila babakat na nga ang kamay niya roon kapag tinanggal.

"Why are you always using that against me as a threat? Kahit anong gawin mo, hindi kita ibababa! Kung kailangang maglakad tayo hanggang Malolos, maglalakad tayo!"

Iniwas ko ang tingin, dumungaw ako sa labas upang maitago ang multong ngiti. God, why am I frustrated yet delighted at the same time? Mali ito, hindi ba? At kung mali, saang banda? Kung tama, bakit parang may mali? Is it because it happened so fast or maybe, about something else? Ang ngiti ko ay tila bulang nawala, wala akong dapat na ikasaya.

"I'll try to understand," I mumbled as I let go of my angst. "This isn't the first time I tried to understand someone. I fathom things easily. I've been doing it all my life," Sinapo ko ang sentido at minasahe iyon, I want to hear it myself, from the lovely lips of yours.

"Meteo will kill me," Ibinaling ko sa kanya ang tingin, kagat na nito ang labi. Kahit na medyo may kadiliman at artipisyal na ilaw na lang ang nagbibigay ng liwanag sa amin, nakita ko kung paano namula ang labi nito.

"You were brave this morning," I reminisced. He was so brave to hold me in front of Kuya Meteo, now, he's all timid. I'm not dumb to not comprehend, I'm not blind to not see. I want to shout him to fucking man up, yet I know there's something that holds him from uttering it.

"What keeps you up at night?" He flinched a little, humigpit ang kapit ko sa laylayan ng aking damit. I may look calm but damn, God knows I'm collecting all the confidence of the world to finally bring that up.

"Oh merciful God, the thoughts of you..." I bit my lower lip, I'd lie to the almighty if I said I don't think of him at night too.

I can feel the pain and the pleasure of finally hearing it. Hindi ko alam kung saan ako, o kami, kayang idala ng daan na ito. Ang hindi ko maintindihan, tila hindi labag sa akin na mawala kasama niya. Sa segundong iniisip ko iyon, kung kailan ayaw ko nang umahon at piliin na lang na malunod sa mga mata niya, may biglang nag-aahon sa akin.

"And what about Kuya Meteo?" Taimtim niya akong tinanaw, sandali lang iyon bago ilipat ulit ang tingin sa daan. "Ayaw niya, hindi ba? Bakit?"

"You're still young," Tumango ako.

"Did you two sort it out?" Mahinang tanong ko, umiling ito. Napalunok ako nang maalala ang sinabi niya, gaano kaimportante? Sobra.  "You have no plans of sorting it out." It's not a question anymore.