They met at the wrong time under the wrong circumstances, in a world that was not theirs. They had no choice but to move on from each other.
Five years later, Griffin Walker and Harry Styles meet again. How will it end this time?
LOVE BUILT ON LIE...
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GRIFFIN E. WALKER April, 2020
✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*
My arm healed at a fast pace. I could do more and more with it as the days gone by. Harry spent a few of those with me, apparently, he had some time off of work which allowed him to spend the night at mine. It was mostly then, when the sun disappeared and the moon lit up the apartment, that he talked to me. During the day, he kept to himself, wanting to tend to my every wish. But when the night came, his emotions fought him off, sitting on his outer layer, wanting nothing more than to be heard.
He was dealing with survivor's guilt.
At first, he wasn't sure if it was that because the word itself indicated something entirely else. In his head, he thought it was when someone survived a horrible event where a lot of people did not. Meanwhile that was one of the things that could trigger survivor's guilt, the word covered much more than that. In his case, it was more the fact that he witnessed something so unreal to him and he just didn't know how to deal with it, on top of me getting hurt in the process.
Harry was dealing with a lot of emotions after everything that happened. Even though he said he couldn't sleep, he did take short naps. During those, he'd have nightmares and he'd jump awake from them, most likely reliving the traumatic event. It made me worry about him and when I told him to talk to me about it, he kind of shut off, distancing himself as he'd go for a shower. He became obsessed with showering. It almost felt like his way of coping with each bad dream, each obsessive thought that entered his mind from that night. He believed he could wash away what happened, burn it off of his skin and out of his mind at the same time.
I couldn't do anything to help him in that situation. I read about it online because I needed to do something. A lot of articles said that eventually, the feeling of self-blame just disappears. A lot of people are fine after a year of the incident because they learn to deal with what happened, they get over it in a sense. I suppose they build it into their thinking, they expand their emotional reactions and strengthen it with it. It gives them an idea of what they can deal it, of how much they can deal with. Perhaps it gives them a limit of how far they can push themselves.
But then there are some people who will find it harder to digest everything. Some will never truly recover from it. One of the authors said that looking for professional help to deal with the traumatic event is not unheard of in these cases. In fact, it is recommended that they reach out to someone with the right expertise on the matter before it gets worse.
I prayed Harry would have the first experience. The thought of him having to go through this shit for years sickened me.
It was half ten in the morning. That meant Harry had been sleeping for thirty minutes. There was no sign of a nightmare yet. He was breathing normally, cuddled up under the duvet with my stuffed bunny pressed to his chest. His lips were apart, his face clear of any frowns. He looked so young.
