Meredith's Thoughts Volume IV

ya know

I always see these girls on Instagram and stuff with these groups of friends and they're all skinny and pretty and wearing bikinis that don't make them look like a whore and they're at their friend's in ground pool or on a boat tubing and their chill parents letting them do whatever. driving around and going shopping going to the beach going on TRIPS and getting food walking in a downtown getting good pictures and etc etc etc
And I'm never gonna have that.
Let alone any group of friends at this point I'm a fucking junior now and with corona there's not gonna be any chance.
People just don't fucking understand sometimes that my parents don't. Let. Me. Do. Shit.
You wanna drive us somewhere and hang out? Yea cool have fun I can't go.
Go over to someone's house with me when my parents haven't met them and their parents?
Yea cool go have fun I can't go.
I feel like nobody gets that and then also because of my parents I just I'm missing out on so much like sometimes I don't even bother asking them because I know it'll be a no or I'll get grilled about it.
I just thought high school was going to be better than this, I looked forward to it for so, so long. And it's just been absolute shit.
I'll have fun in college when I'm studying something I won't even care about scared out of my mind at night and rooming with a stranger self conscious of my lack of experiences and social skills.