Chapter 32
I slowly opened my eyes and I suddenly sit up when I remembered blood running down through my thighs.
"Y-Yung baby... yung baby ko," hindi ako mapakali nang mahanap ko ang mata ni Mama na umiiyak sa gilid.
"E-Eunice, please anak, calm down. Hindi pa maayos ang pakiramdam mo." Sabi niya habang humihikbi siya.
"M-Ma.. y-yung baby..." I am waiting for an answer to come out. I am praying that my baby is safe. Please, tell me that my baby is safe.
Umiiyak lamang si Mama sa gilid ko ngunit hindi ko maintindihan. Ayokong paniwalaan, tumingin ako kay Kuya Ethan na nakatayo sa harap ko. He's looking at me with sad eyes.
"K-Kuya..."
Ilang sandali pa at nakita kong lumunok siya.
"W-Wala na ang b-baby, Eunice."
Biglang gumuho ang mundo ko. Unti-unting tumulo ang luha sa aking mga mata at hindi makapaniwala na wala na ang baby ko. Ang anak ko. I lost my child.
"H-Hindi.. Kuya hindi... please no,"
Hindi ko na nakayanan hanggang sa bumuhos na ang mga luha sa aking mga mata. Bigla akong niyakap ni Kuya pero pilit kong inaalis ang pagyakap niya sa akin. My mom was crying beside us.
"Please K-Kuya... yung b-baby ko..." patuloy ako sa paghagulgol ng iyak habang yakap-yakap ako ni Kuya Ethan.
"Sshh. It's okay..." he caressed my head and I cried harder.
"N-No..." I cried as he hugged me tight.
I couldn't blame anyone but myself. I lost another life, I lost another precious thing in my life. I lost my dad before, and now, I lost my child. Why do I keep losing someone that I loved? Am I being punished? Do I really deserve all of these things that happened to me? Why? Why does it have to be me? Why does it have to be my baby?
Nakatulala lang ako habang naka-upo sa kama. I couldn't even eat or sleep thinking about my child. Hindi pa siya nagtagal sa sinapupunan ko pero nawala na siya bigla. Kinuha na siya agad sa akin. Hindi ko man lang nalaman kung babae o lalaki ang anak ko. I didn't even get to feel my child inside my womb.
"Eunice anak, please kumain ka na." my mom said as she place the food tray in front of me.
"Wala po akong gana,"
"Hindi ka kumain simula nung nagising ka, you need to eat something at least. Kahit konti lang anak." Sabi ni Mama.
Tinignan ko siya at nanlumo ako nang makita ang itsura niya. She got dark circles under her eyes, she barely even sleep and she look pale and thin. Nasaktan ako nang makita si Mama na nasasaktan at nahihirapan. She went through a lot compared to me, and I feel bad for myself.
I almost forgot that I still have her, I still have her by my side. Nandiyan pa rin siya, standing strong for me and here I am feeling weak and tired. Hindi ko man lang siya naalagaan bilang nanay ko. Hindi ko man lang tinanong sa kaniya, kung kumain na ba siya, kung okay lang ba siya, o kung galit ba siya.
I hugged her and I silently cried.
"I'm sorry Ma. I'm sorry for causing you too much trouble." She hugged me back and I cry even more.
"I'm sorry for everything Ma. I'm really sorry." Humagulgol ako at niyakap siya ng mahigpit.
"Don't be sorry. Hindi natin gusto ang nangyari, all I want for you is to be strong enough to face all the challenges in your life. You need to be strong, anak." She said as I heard her cry too. I just nodded and remained hugging her.