Silhouetted Sins

too early for "i love you"?

toni's pov

"hi toni." she says

"hey cheryl. can we talk." i ask.

"yea of course. come in." she says and let's me in. "wow this place is huge." i say. "yea veronica was able to get it for us. do you um- want anything to eat or drink or?" she asks me. "oh no i'm fine." i say. "ok i guess we can just sit and talk." she says and brings me over to the couch.

"i'm sorry if any of this is awkward i just wanted to talk to you and just try to clear up everything that has happened in the last 6 years." i say. "oh yea of course. it's not awkward. i'm- i'm glad you wanna talk." she says.

"is it ok if i don't go into detail about the rape stuff? i'm just not ready to talk about it." i say quietly. "yes that's totally fine toni. i won't force you to talk about anything your not comfortable with." cher says and i take a sigh of relief.

"right ok. so everything started when i first found out i was pregnant. i kept telling myself i wasn't because i didn't want it to be true. my morning sickness started to get bad so i just finally decided to take a test. the whole time while i was just waiting i kept praying that the goddamn test would read negative." i say.

"wait was this the night before graduation?" she asks. "yea...how did you know?" i ask her.

"i remember that night. you were walking on eggshells. and you were in the bathroom for like hours." she says. "yea um... it was an emotional night for me. i mean i didn't want my rapists baby! who does?!" i say and she nods. "yea. i get it." she says.

"before i flipped over the test though i had a really terrible gut feeling it would be positive. and i made a promise to myself that if it was positive that i would keep the baby. sure enough i flipped the test over and there were 2 lines." i say.

"toni i am so sorry that i wasn't there for you. i was literally in the room next door. you could've talked to me." cheryl says.

"i was so scared." i whisper and tears start to fill my eyes.

"toni look at me." cheryl says and puts her hands on my lap. i look up and my eyes meet hers. "you might've been scared back then but right now, in this very moment, you don't have to be scared anymore. i'm here and i'm not going anywhere." she says.

my arms wrap around her neck and i start crying on her shoulder. "toni it's ok. i promise. you're ok." she says and rubs my back.

"i know i know. it's just- hard to talk about." i say and pull away from the hug while wiping my tears away.

"what made you decide to leave?" she asks. "i knew i was keeping the baby and i didn't want any second opinions. i knew in riverdale that everyone has an opinion and i didn't want it to effect my decision. i knew people would judge and ask questions so i left." i say.

"were you scared i was gonna tell you to give it up?" she asks a little more sensitive this time. "i- yea." i say honestly. "i know my opinion doesn't matter now but i would never in a million years ask you to give up the baby if you didn't want to." she says.

"i don't know why i thought you would be mad at me. but anyway i can't change the past and what happened happened." i say and she nods.

"you know i wanna learn more about what happened to you after i left." i say. "yea?" she asks. "mhm." i say.

"ok well for starters i woke up the day after graduation and you weren't in bed with me. i tried calling you like 7 times but everytime you didn't answer. i was going crazy all day and me and the serpents spent the next week just trying to find you. we didn't know if you were kidnapped or something so we just looked everywhere. then after a week i got your text saying you were ok and safe and that you ran away on purpose." she says and i feel so guilty.

"i should've given you more information just to put your mind at ease but i'm sorry i just couldn't. i didn't want you to find me." i say.

"no it's ok. i understand now but back then i didn't. i was upset and confused and just wanted everything back to normal. i started drinking...a lot. it got so bad where betty found out about it and i got the twins taken away from me. then it was just me and nana rose in thistlehouse and i felt lonely and depressed. veronica and archie agreed to move in with me because hiram already kicked veronica out of the pembrooke. that's when my life started to get back to normal. both of them helped me through a lot and thanks to them i'm so much better." she says.

"wow. um do you still get to see the twins?" i ask curiously.

"yea i get to see them all the time during holidays and whenever they just wanted to come to thistlehouse. they live with polly now. she's a lot better after getting hardcore therapy and the twins love her. they see pictures of you sometimes and they always ask why they don't see you anymore." she says and i smile.

"really?" i ask. "yea they remember you." she says and smiles. "do you have a recent picture of them?" i ask. "yea i think so." she says and takes out her phone.

"here's dagwood." she says.

"and here's juniper." she says.

"oh my god they're precious." i say. "i know. they are both such great kids." she says. "do they know you left?" i ask.

"they know. dagwood was accepting about it although he said he was gonna miss archie the most. and juniper...poor juniper. she misses me and veronica, mostly veronica, so much. she is a little fashionista so me and veronica would buy her the cutest clothes and she'd have a bunch of fashion shows for us. she makes sure to facetime us all the time on polly's phone and i promised both of them that i would visit whenever i can." cheryl says.

"i can't tell if sophie would love or hate them." i say and laugh. "yea i don't know about sophie. scooty and dagwood would probably be best friends though." cheryl says. "probably. you should get them to visit sometime." i say. "yea we can work that out." cheryl says.

"ok well i mean thank you for talking with me and not being judge mental." i say. "of course toni i-." she says but stops. "you what?" i ask.

"is it too early to say i love you?" cher asks. "i- i don't know." i say.

it gets kinds of awkward for a moment until i feel myself leaning towards cheryl. i just stare at her lips and instantly her lips lock with mine. "cher we shouldn't do this." i say while trying to pull away. "don't worry. we're the only ones here." she says and our lips meet again.

before i knew it cheryl was straddling on my lap. "top off." i say quickly and we pull off each other shirts while passionately kissing.

let's just say things got pretty heated and tonight was the best night i've had in a long time.

A/n: hi guys!!! what's everyone doing for summer?