Deciphering Love

CHAPTER 32.

Chapter 32: Past unfolded. 

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"Marriage can wait, education cannot."

 -Khaled Hossieni: A thousand Splendid Suns.-

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Married? Did Islah just say what I think he said? Yusra opened her mouth and closed it multiple times, like that of a fish. She understood the question clearly but for heavens sake, I am not ready! A million questions ran through her mind and her expression darkened.

When Islah saw this, he held his hands up in surrender as he hopped off the counter.

"Hey. Yusra? Yusra!" he called out for her and she snapped out of her trance. She looked at him with unfocused eyes and he flicked his fingers in front of her face.

"You okay?" he asked again and this time, she was honest by shaking her head from side to side. She wasn't okay. Her heart raced abnormally fast and her palms grew sweaty. She looked at Islah with a soft sigh.

"I- I-" she could not even form a comprehensible sentence. Islah knew he had overwhelmed his hijabi.

"Hey. It's okay. I meant it but it's your decision. I don't exactly want an answer now," Islah explained and Yusra stared at him. He is lying. He is as anxious as I am. She saw right through it but she appreciated that he was being understanding.

"I know." She finally managed to say. Islah handed her a glass of water, asking her to drink it. She did so and took deep breaths to calm herself down. I cannot have an anxiety attack again! The last time she had one was when she did not get into her desired program at college for being too young. In her defense, being 13 and getting into university is not too young.

Islah let out a small smile as he watched her calm down. He leaned onto the counter, crossing his arms over his chest and watched her silently. Yusra felt his eyes on her but said nothing. For a while that is. She scoffed and let out a small laugh.

"You must be confused." She muttered and he nodded at her.

"Was it anxiety? Or panic?" he asked her and she looked up to him with a frown. He knows them?

"You know the signs?"

"That was mild. I used to have full blown ones when I was a teenager. Kinda know them." He told her and her eyes widened. He had panic attacks? Why? He's just so.... Perfect.

"How'd it stop?"

"Therapy." That's when Yusra realized she basically knew next to nothing about Islah. Yet I am in love with him. What if we don't survive this marriage? And my education? My dreams? My priorities? What about them?

"Islah?" she asked after a moment. Islah hummed in response. "We don't know anything about each other." Islah raised an eyebrow at this. He shifted in front of her, his gray blue eyes meeting her green ones.

"And?"

"How will we survive this?" she asked, tilting her head slightly. Islah knew she was thinking again.

"We are not getting married tomorrow, Yusra." Islah told her. Then with a smirk, he added. "Unless you want to, I mean I am not against it. The faster, the better." Yusra glared at him playfully, a thin layer of blush coating his cheeks.

"But seriously. We can learn things on the way," he informed her and she sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. Islah shrugged.

"I have dreams, places to see, things to accomplish!" Yusra said, after a moment. Islah stared at her with soft eyes and a smile.