Deciphering Love

CHAPTER 39.

Chapter 39: Goodbyes. 

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"It's never easy to leave one's home,

 especially when there are only closed doors ahead of you."

-Nadia Hashimi, When the Moon is Low-

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Yusra was really excited, despite the unsettling feeling inside her. Because one, it was Maha's wedding today and the second being Rabail and Iravat's upcoming wedding. The wedding was set to be two days before Yusra left for London, which was in a month. As days went by, she became anxious. This was everything she dreamt of all her life. This was her destiny. Islah is destiny too, Yusra. Her mind was right to say that. Islah was also part of her life, her fate and her destiny. But if she married Islah before leaving, would she be able to really leave Islah here? The answer is always no. She wouldn't leave him at all.

Knowing that, Islah decided if he could wait for her this long, he can wait for a year or two more. After all, she is meant to be his in any way. Whether it be today or tomorrow, it will happen.

"Yusra!" she turned to see Rabail walking to her in her golden dress with her hair up in a neat braid. She wore silver earrings that matched her golden and silver bangles. Yusra immediately grinned.

"Rabi!" she hugged the life out of the woman before pulling her along to sit with her family. A few of her cousins were there too. Some from America and Canada while a few from UAE. But above all, Yusra knew none of them personally. They just happened to be family from either her dad or moms side.

"Forgot us?" Yusra bent towards her right to see Iravat and Islah walking towards them. She grinned when she met Islah's eyes.

"Hi."

"As salaamu alaikum," Islah replied making her blush. She replied her salutations before turning to her four cousins; Enoha, Adeel , Elham and Jamal at the table. The girls gave brief waves to the boys and Rabail.

"Guys, this is Rabail, Islah and Iravat, our family friends." Yusra introduced them to her cousins who nodded. When Yusra said family friends, Rabail and Iravat glanced at Islah who narrowed his eyes at her. Family friend? FAMILY FRIEND? I am a family friend?, he thought. Yusra turned to the three still standing awkwardly by the table. She gestured for them to take their seats.

Islah and Iravat took their seats beside the boys, Adeel and Jamal while Rabail and Yusra took their seats beside Enoha and Elham, right infront of Iravat and Islah respectively.

"And these are my cousins," Yusra introduced them and soon everyone was talking. It was Enoha who whispered to Yusra if either of the boys were single. Yusra shook her head, dejectedly.

"I am afraid not, sorry." Despite the calm in her voice, Yusra felt a turmoil of emotions in her. What if women want to pursue him when I am away? Will he let them? Or will he tell them he is in love with another?

"Yusra?" she snapped out of her trance and turned to Rabail who was staring at her with concern.

"What is it?" Yusra could only smile and shake her head, nothing. Nothings wrong. Absolutely nothing.

The night went by and she enjoyed it to the maximum. That was until it was time to bid Maha goodbye as she leaves for her in-laws. Maha hugged Yusra last and held her for a couple of minutes longer than anyone else. Yusra could feel her heartbeat matching Maha's at that point. I'll miss you more.

"You'll do great things in life. And I cannot wait to see you do them." Maha finally whispered to her and Yusra nodded lightheadedly. "Good luck." With that and a last hug, Yusra watched Maha walk away with her husband and new family. Do I have to leave everyone behind too? Baba too? She unconsciously glanced over to Islah who was staring at her. He smiled reassuringly at her and she nodded back at him. It was a silent understanding between the two that everything will be okay.

That night, the house was silent. There was no Maha to call out for her, her mother was still not on speaking terms with her and Maheen was crying silently in the living room. Yusra did not want to face anyone at this point so she went straight to bed.

Even the comfort of her bed and the weight of finals gone from her shoulders could not make her sleep. She tossed and turned until she finally fell asleep in the wee hours of the morning with one thought in her mind. Am I ready to leave everyone behind?

-

Her days with everyone here became numbered soon enough. In a weeks' time, she would leave. Seven days until she would be gone and seven days until she begins her dream journey. But somehow, she wasn't feeling it.

She should be excited, she should be happy. But she wasn't. And that scared her. She wanted to talk to Rabail about it but she couldn't. Rabail was busy with her wedding preparations and she didn't want to interrupt. She too helped around when she could but she was usually busy with her paperwork's with the university and immigration.

She prayed a lot, Allah knows she prayed for guidance desperately. She felt like she didn't know what she wanted despite that fact that she was one step closer to her dream.

That was when she discovered Istikharah. She felt like she should do it and a week's not too late to change plans, just in case. But she never received an answer, or so she thought.

Yusra so badly wanted an answer as either yes or no that she didn't realize her reliance to go and pursue her dreams were becoming stronger. She would often think about why she shouldn't go and would find no reason to stay back. Of course Islah was there and so were her family, but they supported her (except her mother of course).

On the final night, she gave up all irrational thoughts. If it is meant to be, it shall be.

The following morning, she took her sweet time to say goodbyes. A few tears were shed, a few words were spoken and a few promises were made. I'd call everyday, she promised herself but she knew once she got busy, she'd have little time each day to call. Saying goodbye to her baba was the hardest. But that had to be done. Dawud may not have shed any tears in front of her but once he had returned home, he cried for over fifteen minutes at the departure of his only daughter. He consoled himself with the fact that she was doing it for herself.

Islah had it worse and Yusra knew it. He was trying to hold it together with the thinnest strings and she was sure they would break soon. So she said her goodbyes and walked away without turning back. If I turn around now, I'll never leave. She had mustered up the courage for weeks now but the actual departure was a thousand times more painful. We have technology, Yusra. We will stay connected.

With consoling thoughts, Yusra boarded her flight to her dreams. London was a breath of fresh air for a home child like Yusra. She felt anxious to be in a new country without anyone by her but she felt the thrill of being independent. 2 years shall go by real fast. 

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Long due chapter, I know. 

How are you guys? 

Two more chapters left guys! On the bright side, I am working on the third book in the Zaeef series!! 

Stay safe and happy!

I love you guys. 

| R - C - V |

xx,

-Aalihha.