Don't Leave Me

Prologue

"I'm going to save your soul, Kane. Even if it's the last thing I do." I say looking into his ice blue eyes.

He sighs and runs a hand through his short blonde hair. "Why?"

"Because I've done a lot of bad things in my life. And you are going to be my redemption; and I'm going to be yours."

I'm not sure if that's the exact moment I signed the death sentence of so many of my loved ones, but if it was, I would do anything to take it back.

I never had a very normal life to begin with, but if you would have told me what was going to happen to me, I would have told you to visit a psychiatrist.

If you would have told me the number of people who would die for me, the number of people who have actually died for me and the number of people I killed, I would have ended my life that night on the bridge. But I didn't, I lived and I'll always feel like I was supposed to die there.

A lot of people will say I saved their lives or that I made their lives better, but I disagree. I think they would have been better off without me. I think they would have been happier, or, in some cases, they would have been alive...

Their deaths will always be with me, a reminder of my mistakes, of my wrong decisions and of my selfishness.

They all tried to make me better, to keep me safe, and to give me a happy and full life, but I desired adventure, danger and even a little bit of war. And their lives are the cost I had to pay.

It wasn't all bad, I met some of the most amazing people that ever lived, I fell in love (more than once), I experienced true friendship, I realized that family isn't necessarily blood and most importantly I learned so many lessons.

But I still regret it; the good isn't even close to the bad, the pain, the suffering, the deaths, the torture and the grieving.

I felt the survivor's guilt and I still do, every day, because I lived, and they didn't; because I was happy and survived, while they suffered and died.

I was raised to be independent and to do what I want, when I want. And as much as I hate myself for it, I blame my parents a little for not taking enough care of me, for not giving me enough love, for not being strict enough, but most of all I blame them for raising me and taking me away from my grandfather.

I blame them for losing so many years of his life without being at his side, without learning everything he had to teach,for not being the granddaughter he deserved.