Arranged Marriage ✓

Chapter - Forty-seven.

Darshan.

I impatiently rang the bell of my house’s main door, at 01: 17 am. I rang the bell twice and no one answered, on the third ring of the bell, the door was pushed open. Revealing a teary eyed yet so beautiful woman. My woman.

She flickered her eyes lazily down my body as I barged in. I shut (basically kicked) the door behind my back, and pulled her in a hug. She grabbed my shirt, pulling me more closer. My hands rested on her back, to rub it. I placed my chin on her head and heard her soft cries.

“Nishita…”, I whispered. “Darshan, I… I loved them,” she immediately broke down. “I know, I know”, I said. “I know I have argued with them for my whole life, but I never said anything bitter to them, I swear. I loved them. I never in my wildest dreams ever, meant to disrespect them. I— I loved them so much…”, she said.

“You need not to tell me about all these, Nishita. I know, I am living with you for the past few months. I have grown to know you, I see the attachment between you and your parents. All three of you loved each other, but somewhere you all failed to express it,” I told her.

I broke the hug and forwarded my hand to her. Her tear strained face looked taken aback as if I did something I should not have. I skillfully rose a brow at her and then she breathed heavily. “Take my hand, I won’t let go of it, I promise,” I swore. Her eyes melted when her hand landed on mine.

Grabbing her hands, I walked her to the bedroom and made her lie down on the bed, and sat right next to her. Her hand still sandwiched in mine. But she still won’t stop crying. And I knew consoling her would mean my attempts to go in avail.

I looked at her, and she still crying. I rubbed the back of her hands moved closer to her. I sat next to her in a manner where she could feel comfortable and could place her head on my chest. Which she did. Nishita silently listened to my heartbeats and my chest rise and fall as she sobbed.

Her soft sobs echoed in the room because no one of us were talking so her muffled cries sounded loud enough to echo.

“Remember once you asked me why and when did I built up the habit of smoking and how often do I smoke?”, I asked her, breaking the ice between us. She softly nodded and batted her eyes. “And you said after your mom’s death, you…”, her voice trailed off. “Yes, exactly. I ended up growing many bad habits after mom’s demise, I — for once — failed to accept the reality. It was so hard, I couldn’t,” I shrugged, going down through the memory lane and Nishi carefully watched me.

“Now I know how hard it is, Darsh”, she said, looking down at our entangled fingers. “How did it feel, Darshan? When you heard about your mom’s death? How did it feel when you saw her… her lifeless body? When you saw her bright eyes closed shut forever?”, she questioned me.

It hurt, it hurt so badly. It was the worst feeling ever. It was something, I could never explain to someone. It was some type of feeling that Nishita now was aware of. “It felt like this”, I gulped, “Back then, it felt just like this, Nishi. And it still does, though.”

“You too feel guilty about not being able to stay with your mom, don’t you?”, she asked me and I nodded in response. “It has nearly been three years, if I’m not wrong,” she said. “Two and a half year, yes. Nearly three years”, I said. “Right, so doesn’t it hurt?”, she asked. “It hurts so much, Nishi. I lost my mother almost three years ago but it looks just the other day dad rang me up and told me about mom’s condition”, I said.

“How long is it going to linger on us, for? Will we never be free from this guilt?”, she asked me. “I don’t know, I just… don’t know, Nishita”, I bit my lower lip hard. “You know that I started smoking after mom’s death, do you know how it feels like? Do you know how a simple drag of cigar feels like?”, I asked her.

She nodded her head to both sides and muttered, “No,”. I pulled her in a hug, wrapping my hands tightly around herself. “Like this. It’s like someone has you secured in their arms tightly. It’s like someone is there to protect you, it feels so peaceful…”, I narrated. “I’m sure it might feel nice but smoking isn’t very cool,” she said.

Who would tell her I stopped smoking when I got married to her and smoked occasionally that too when I am out of her sight, super nervous or sad.

I opened my mouth to say something but then my phone buzzed up. I pulled it out of my pocket and saw that the incoming call was from Hardil. “Pick it up, go and change your clothes. I’ll serve you dinner and we need to talk,” she coolly said. This meant trouble. “Sure”, I nodded.

“Did you reach safely?”, the first thing I heard instantly after picking up the call. “Uh, yeah…”, I said. “How’s she?”, Hardil asked. “She is stuck inside a storm made of mixed emotions, she is pushing herself into the pool of sadness and trying to look ‘okay’,” I said. “Man, she is hurt”, he commented “Hm,” I said.

“Hardil, remember you told me to get close to her to know about my feelings towards her?”, I asked. “Yeah,” he said. “What was happening to me whenever I was like close to her? Why was I sticking to her like a magnet? What was the thing that I felt between us? What was the feeling when I was that close to her? This closeness between us, was driving me mad. I had to know what the feeling was. So, I thought I should grow more closer to her to discover the feeling. And whilst I was searching the for it, did I... fell for it?”, I asked him. “Did I fell in love with Nishita?”

“You know, I’m kinda stuck between to say ‘Yes’ and ‘The hell yes’, man!”, he said. I smiled a little. “But somewhere… I feel like, I am the reason behind all of her troubles…” I said. “Explain,” he said. “See, she married me because of Anita, one day of our marriage and we heard her brother passed away, four months into the marriage and both her parents met with an untimely death and she is going to take action against Anita”, said.

“So?”, he asked. “What do you mean by that? It doesn’t matter dude, you love her!”, he encouraged. “I… don’t know, man. I really don’t. I think I love her, bit deep down inside, I know whatever she is going through is because of me, I’m bad luck, for her”, I said. “Are you being serious?”, he asked. “You know what, it’s your own problem, handle it by yourself. And oh, YOU LOVE HER!”, he said and cut call.

I know, I do, Hardil. But, I wish she did, too.

*

I and Nishita ate dinner in pure silence at around 02: 53 am, which was — breakfast — in a way. She told me that she wanted to file an arrest warrant against Anita — which according to me — was fair enough. She deserves it. And I think at this point of life — both I and Nishita are in need of some spice which can also be called as courtroom drama, in our lives.

We dozed off nearly at 03: 15. But I think I heard something from her. “With me, it’s now just Dii, you, Khushi and Nabiha. Please, don’t leave my side, ever. I’m enough broken and damaged in my life, I don’t want anything else. ”, she said. I kissed the temple of her head and said ‘I love you’, in my mind.

I watched her eyes shut and her lips move. She said something, like a whisper. She repeated those words and my eyes widened when I understood what she just said.

“I love you,” she said the first time.

“I love you so much, Darshan.”