100 story challenge (Tom Hiddleston imagines) *edited*

Reason (Freddie)

⚠A/N: there is mention of war and PTSD, so be warned.⚠

Freddie had changed and you noticed that. Since he came back from war, he has been different. More... distant from you.

He's also gotten more aggressive, not physically violent but verbally. You blame it on the alcohol, but he is never that drunk.

You wake up in the middle of the night, looking at the clock which says 11:27pm. You turn over to hug onto Freddie... he wasn't there. Where's Freddie?

"Freddie?" You called, but there was no answer. You asked again and this time you heard the sound of someone in the living room. So you came out of your bedroom to find Freddie lying on the sofa.

"Darling... why haven't you come to bed it's late?" You said walking over to his head, placing your hands on his chest and kneeling down so your head rested on his.

"I'm not tired." I said bluntly.

"Then you should've woken me, and we could've-"

He cut you violently, "no."

You turned your head towards him, "Freddie..." you breathed, "what's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong darling now go to bed." He sat up and stared at you, making you back up a little.

"Please, don't shut me out Freddie," you whisper, feeling like you're going to have another argument. You cared dearly about Freddie, and you knew this wasn't him. He was kind and loving, not this bitter and depressed man that showed up on your door.

"I'm not shutting you out y/n, I have no intention of shutting you out." He yelled. He stopped for a second trying to remain composed, but failed, "I just want to be left alone so leave. Me. Alone."

"Why?" You whimper, tears threatening to spill over.

"BECAUSE I SAID SO!" He shouted. You turned around to hide your tears and covering your mouth to hide your sobs, Freddie took a deep breath to calm down and slowly approached you.

"Darling? Darling I'm sorry." He gently placed his left hand on your shoulder, you flinched but allowed him to wrap his arms around you.

You buried your head in his chest and mumbled into him, "Freddie I love you. I care about you so much. Please... tell me what's wrong."

"I can't," he choked wanting to cry himself.

You stared up at him, his eyes full of worry and hope, "please."

He pulls away from you and walks to the fireplace on the other side of the room, "you really want to know?"

You look at him but don't say a word.

"I hear them," he looks away from you tears flooding his red rimmed eyes, "when in a silent room I hear the painful screams of men I dragged away from gunfire," he said. As he continued, he grew louder and louder, walking towards you. "I hear the cries of hundreds of women and children running away from soldiers trying to drag them away... AND WHEN I CLOSE MY EYES, I SEE MEN BEING SHOT AT LEFT AND RIGHT OF ME! But I'm told to carry on. I see pain every time I blink, and I dream of the men I killed, MEN LIKE ME! WITH WIVES AND CHILDREN OF THEIR OWN! I DID THAT, I KILLED THEM... and I'm just supposed to move on."

He finished spitting his painful truth at you, ending up face to face. You stood there, mouth agape and eyes wide looking up at him.

"So I don't want to sleep because I will end up waking up, knowing that I was sent to do a job that would guilty my conscious. I killed men y/n, for 4 years I killed men who were just the same as me, and for what?"

"Freddie-" you breathed but was cut off by him.

"y/n please, I need you to not say anything and just let me speak..." he brushed his fingers across your wet cheek, holding it as he spoke, "what has happened to me, I don't think will ever reverse itself. I'm not the man you fell in love with, because I was innocent. I hadn't seen death, in all its glory." He paused again staring at the ground then back to you, "I'm sorry y/n, but I can't change, not now. I love you but I'm not the man I was, so you have two options, love me or leave me"

"Love you Freddie," you sobbed without a second thought, "I love you Freddie Page, isn't that why I married you." You continued to cry, taking both his hands in yours, "I understand you now, and I know now. But I am never going to leave you because I promised, in sickness and in health... darling."

Like someone had clicked his fingers, Freddie's face changed, and he dived to your lips. Your kiss was, emotional, loving, caring, perfect.

"I Love you Freddie."

"Ilove you y/n."

A/N: I hope you enjoyed. I think it was definitely one of the harder ones to structure but I think it came out fine, I've done worse. anyway leave your thoughts always. ❤