I could tell she missed him. She really loved him a lot. Their years together had only made them stronger. And even though I know she loved me too as a matter of fact she still does I cant compete with him.
I cant compete with his ghost that constantly lives in her life, in this house. Each time I look at Ryan I see his face reflected in its innocence. Each time I look at Aiyanas belly i know another is on it's way.
I wonder if this is how he felt. Knowing his wife loved me. And now that his happily ever after is over he lives on to haunt mine.
She doesn't talk about him anymore. She barely cried but I think that has more to do with the fact that she is putting on a strong face for Ryan. But, ever so often at night, when Ryan is fast asleep, she sits by the fireplace, lighting a cigarette, pouring a glass of whiskey with a guitar resting on her lap.
Her fingers move slowly against the cord as she plays the same tune over and over again.
Lyrics float from between her lips as she softly sings. I dont know that song but she knows it by heart. The british accent she that she tries so hard to hide emerges as she sings.
It was a song he write for her. The same one he sang over and over again before he would swoop her in her arms and dance to some tacky romantic song.
Sometimes her voice would shake but she would go on.
Encompassed in the smell of cigarettes, whiskey and the soft arousal of the song she drowned herself in her misery.
Maybe someday this will stop and she will again be mine. That she will love me again the same way she used to love me.
Unreigned desires.
YOU ARE READING
Forbidden desires
RomanceLet's play a game he said. And I agreed. He called it possession and the possession was me. Maybe just this one night I'll let Mr. Arizona possess me. I might call him sky when we are all together but secretly when he touches me, touches the heat of...
