Guarding my heart is the best thing i could do. Our heart is the weakest part madali lang kasi tayong naaawa, madali tayong nabubulag sa pag-ibig. Sometimes heart manipulated us that we forgot to think what's right and wrong, nalilimutan na nating gamitin ang utak natin. And that's wrong. We should know how to balance.
"Rianah is there?" Tanong ni Vien.
"Yeah" kinuwento ko kasi sa kanya ang nagyare kanina.
Vien told me that Rianah is Kendrick's ex but then Rianah went to US na dahilan nang break up nila. She's Kendrick first love too.
"I heard hindi naman daw sila nagbalikan"
"Then? I don't care anymore" matapang kong sabi.
Although a part of me felt happiness. Nakakalungkot lang kasi di na mababalik yung dati, nasaktan na ako, nasira na kami.
Nagpaalam na si Vien at pumasok na sa room niya. Pumasok na ako sa sunod kong subject kong saan kaklase ko sina Xan, Brayle, Yhuan at Cayfer.
I want to act normal. Nasaktan din kasi ako ng malaman na alam nila ang lahat, pero pinili nilang itago.
"Hindi daw papasok si Prof" sigaw nang kaklase naming kakapasok lang.
Tatayo na sana ako para tumambay nalang sa cafeteria nang tawagin ako ni Cayfer.
"Marrie"
I turn around and face them. "Yes?" I smilingly said. Nasaktan man ako na tinago nila but i understand them. Pinili lang nilang protektahan ang kaibigan nila, kahit naman siguro ako ganun din ang gagawin ko.
Tumayo silang lima at malungkot na humarap sa akin "I'm sorry-"
"You guys don't need to be sorry, i understand" pagputol ko sa sasabihin sana ni Yhuan.
"You're still our princess!" Xandrick sadly said.
Malungkot akong ngumiti. Hindi eh, kasi alam kong replacement lang ako. Si Rianah ang totoong prisesa nila. Hindi ako.
I shake my heads and sadly smile to Xandrick "I forgive you all. But i'm sorry hindi ko maibabalik yung dati. Let's be casual".
Malungkot silang yumuko at tumango. It hurts losing them pero mas mabuting lumayo ako sa kanila para tuluyan kong malimutan si Kendrick.
"Did you hear Kendrick's explanation?" Brayle said.
"Wala na akong balak marinig yun"
Umiling siya "You need to hear his explanation Marrie" he insisted.
Umiling ako at ngumiti "Whatever his reason, hindi kona papaniwalaan" i smilingly said "Una na ako" paalam ko bago tumalikod at umalis na doon.
I want to hear his explanation but i'm scared that i might end up hugging him and forgiving him. Marupok ako eh! Subrang rupok. Kaya i choose to refrain from hearing his explanation, it's sound selfish but i just want to protect myself from deciding dumb decission again. I was hurt once at ayaw konang maulit yun. Once is enough!.
Month had passed at araw araw ganun ang pangyayari. Kendrick always ask me if we can talk but i always decline, hindi ko alam kong pano ko nakayanang maging matapang sa harap niya ganung durog na durog na ako. Everytime i see those brown eyes begging, my heart shattered in pieces. My feelings for him grow even more.
How can i love him more, when he broke me? When we're over? Why does my heart is still shouting his name and missing the warmth of his love. Is this even possible?
Every single day i tried harder to stop loving him but i always fail, maybe because until now he's trying.
"Please Marrie, just once!" Pagmamakaawa niya. Kaming dalawa nalang natira sa classroom, umalis na ang kaklase namin. Himala nga na hindi na sila nakikinig, siguro kahit sila nagsawa narin sa paulit-ulit na pakiusap ni Kendrick.
I rolled my eyes "Kendrick stop!. Please tumigil kana" pagmamakaawa ko. Natatakot na ako, na baka mawawala na naman ang prinsipyong binuo ko.
He look wrecked. Ang gulo nang buhok niya at ang gusot nang uniporme. Malalalim din ang mga mata niya. Mukhang puyat. Mukhang wala na siyang alaga sa sarili.
"Just please. Isang beses lang Marrie. After that titigil na ako. Just please hear me!" Halos lumuhod na siya. He try to reach my hand pero umatras ako.
Tears flow from my eyes. My heart is shouting to let him explain but i just can't. Kinakain ako ng takot ko, na baka mali pala talaga ang iniisip ko.
"Sorry Kendrick but i don't want to hear your explanation" umiiyak kong saad. "And please stop, napapagod na kasi ako sa ganito!" I added before going out and leaving him there.
Everyday feels like a torture. Dammit! Hanggang kailan to? Hanggang kailan ko kakayanin?
"Tulala ka ata?" Tanong ni Vien andito kami sa cafeteria ngayon kasama si Nathan at Lawrence, lunch time na kasi.
Their attention was all on me. I sigh "Wala, wala. May iniisip lang" sagot ko.
Vien nod and continue eating ganun din ang ginawa ni Nathan. Tanging si Lawrence lang ang hindi kumbinsido sa sagot ko dahil nakatitig parin siya sa akin.
"May iniisip lang ako Lawrence" i assuringly said and pinched his cheecks. This past weeks he always makes sure na okay ako.
He nod and pout. "Say ah!" Sabi niya at hinarap ang kutsara sa akin.
I laugh before eating it. Nakatingin lang si Vien at Nathan sa amin.
Lawrence stand up and went on me "Ang kalat mo kumain. Wait! Let me wipe your mouth" he said at dahan dahang yumuko at pinahiran nang marahan ang gilid nang labi ko gamit ang kamay niya. I can smell him kasi subrang lapit niya. Bango ah!
"Thank you" i smilingly said. This past few weeks Lawrence became sweeter, kung hindi kolang to kaibigan pag kakamalan kong may gusto to sa akin. Alam ko namang ginagawa niya to sa akin kasi kaibigan niya ako.
He smile "Always welcome, my lady!" Pabirong sagot niya at kumindat pa. Umayos na siya nang tayo nang biglang may sumuntok sa kanya.
Humandusay siya sa sahig nang cafeteria at duguan ang labi. I went to him at tiningnan ang walang hiyang sumuntok sa kanya.
"Wtf-- Kendrick???" Gulat kong tanong nang makita si Kendrick na nag aalab ang tingin at galit na galit.
BINABASA MO ANG
Blown to Forever (Montereal Series #1) COMPLETED
Ficción GeneralMarrieanna Eleaza Montemayor went to Montereal together with her family. There, she meet Kendrick, Xandrick, Yhuan, Cayfer and Brayle. The four idiots este, the four handsome and richest elites in Montereal. [COMPLETED] But still you may encounter...
