Don't Cry

018

"Aren't you tired of all of these, Ven?"

Napatingin ako kay Kit na seryosong nakatingin sa akin.

We are currently at the library. This place is filled with students dahil sa susunod ng linggo ang finals. Most of them are busy studying on their subjects just like me.

Mas gusto kong may ginagawa para hindi na ako magkaroon ng pagkakataong kaawaan ang sarili ko. I feel useless. I feel weak.

"Kapag may problemang dumadating sa buhay mo, it is either you don't care about your studies anymore or you bury yourself more with studying."

"Ano bang dapat kong gawin? Hindi ko na rin kasi alam kung ano."

"There's only one thing you should do. Whatever happens, don't let loneliness consumes you. You are bigger than your problems. You are bigger than what you are feeling. Why are you acting like you can never overcome it?"

"Because I don't think I can," maagap kong sagot sa kanya.

"Of course you can. Why do you keep on doubting yourself? I believe in you, Ven. Why can't you do the same to yourself?"

Napayuko na lamang ako dahil sa narinig ko sa kanya.

I used to think that maybe I wasn't good enough for me not to feel the love I wanted. But now, I know better. The problem is never in me. The problem is in her for not trying to love me.

I doubted myself many times that I can't even count. I questioned life. I distrusted my own destiny. But still, here I am hoping for the happiness that seems like a distant star.

Kailan ko ba talaga makakamtan ang kasiyahan matagal ko nang ninanais?

"A-anong ginagawa mo?" agap kong tanong sa kanya nang makita ko siyang itinatago na ang mga gamit ko sa aking bag at envelope na dala-dala.

"Tinatago ang gamit mo?"

"Pero bakit?"

"Aalis tayo," aniya habang patuloy pa rin sa ginagawa niya. Doon ko rin napansin na wala na siyang gamit sa mesa. Maaring naitago na niya iyon kanina pa.

"Saan naman tayo pupunta?"

"I don't know. Basta. Somewhere which is not here."

"Pero may pasok na tayo maya-maya..."

"Patapos na ang semester. Gamitin naman natin ang allowable absences kahit minsan lang," wika niya at saktong natapos na rin siya sa ginagawa.

He immediately went to me, grab my arm and pull me to stand up.

"Tara," aniya at nagsimula nang naglakad habang suot na niya ang bag niya at bitbit ang bag ko pati na rin ako.

Muntik pa akong matapilok sa hagdan nang dahil sa pagkakahila niya sa akin.

He immediately stopped walking and turn around to look at me. "Ayos ka lang?"

Even if I am still in shock for this sudden plan, I nodded at him. He smiled at me before he walked again. Ang kaninang kamay niya na nakahawak sa braso ko ay siyang sa wrist ko na nakahawak.

Some students greeted him but he never did stop on walking or acknowledge those greetings at least. Nagpatuloy lamang siya sa paglalakad at paghila sa akin hanggang sa makarating kami sa kung nasaan nakaparada ang kotse niya.

He immediately opens the front door kaya agad naman akong pumasok doon. After that, he immediately sat on the driver's seat.

"Where are we going?" tanong kong muli sa kanya dahil baka may ideya na siya kung saan niya ko dadalhin.