More Of You - One for the Ages // Book Two

Chapter 19

ELIZABETH

I felt physical pain. Each beat of my heart actually hurt my chest, I could only attribute it to the fact that I'd spent the last 24 hours crying so hard I was sure I didn't have any tears left. I had spent the entire weekend wallowing in self pity and telling myself over and over that I was stupid.

I had hurt Harry even more than I thought I had. If that was possible. He had never asked a thing of me and the one time he had, I clammed up. I don't even know what stopped me.

Yes I did.

Fear stopped me. Men got tired of me. Found a reason not to want me around anymore. They left without ever looking back. I was far too fucked up for anyone to want to sign up for an entire life of dealing with my shit. And no matter what Harry said, I knew he would eventually do the same.

My draw to him was so intense. I wanted him more than I could ever find the words to convey. I just would never be able to verbalize it.

All I could see when I closed my eyes is the pain in his eyes and his face when I didn't say the words he needed to hear.

I deserved this pain.

-----------------------

Monday morning meant going to work and I just couldn't face it. I grabbed my phone off my nightstand after being unable to look at myself in the bathroom mirror. I sent a quick text to Michael telling him I was sick and I tossed my phone in the bed.

Tears were coming again.

I was about to bury my face in my pillow for the foreseeable future when I heard my phone ring. Michael. It had to be. But when I glanced at my phone it was a number I didn't recognize. I thought about letting it go to voicemail for a split second when I remembered a lot of people took my phone number during the party and it could be one of them calling. I grabbed my phone and hit the answer button,.

"Hello?"

"Elizabeth...bloody hell, you are hard to get ahold of."

It took me a moment to recognize the voice,

"Natalie?"

"Yes, Natalie." She said, slightly annoyed, "I've been calling you for a week."

She had been. She was right. I kept meaning to call her back but I was so busy at work that I totally forgot.

"If I didn't know better I'd think you were avoiding me."

I shook my head,

"No..." I stopped, "Wait...where are you? My phone didn't register the number?"

"I'm at work." She said dryly, "Got here early and thought I'd try to get you early so you might answer."

I sniffed,

"Sorry. I've been busy."

I heard her crinkle some paper,

"So I see. Looks like a great party. I had no idea you and Roland Sanders were close."

"I didn't know you knew who he was."

"Everyone knows who he is." She cleared her throat, "But that's not why I called. Lunch. Today."
I instantly shook my head,

"Natalie...I can't-"

"Yes you can." She interrupted, "You've been dodging me for a week and I won't have it. I know you and Harry are having issues but that has nothing to do with you and I."

I quickly clapped my mouth shut. Natalie wasn't like Chelsea or the other girls. She'd only ever been supportive and kind to me. And, much like Harry, she didn't take my shit. It must be a British thing.