The inner workings of my mind

Broken remedies

@copyright 2020

All of these emotions leave my brain going into overdrive let's face it the life that I live can't be changed and no amount of makeup can hide the emotions that I seem to feel My head is spinning and throwing me around like i'm on some kind of roller coaster
I want to get off
I want to jump
I want to escape the reality that I now have
 
You left me again...How could you is all I can think when you call and ask me how I am " I'm Good" always the reply
  
But internally I am throwing build-boards that come crashing down like cement I am causing thunderstorms where you are Why would you do this to me? You destroyed my life multiple times with only shots aimed at my heart The metallic taste of blood became all to familiar over the years now I'm immune

At least I thought that was the truth your intoxicated body opens it's mouth to speak " You're not going to get in any college they would be stupid to accept you sweetheart Now I'm sorry but that's the truth" Spoke by a parent that claims they care but actions show otherwise I know I should've stayed where i originated but somehow I got it in my head that you needed me I thought that's what you needed but from the moment i walked into the door I was nothing but someone you could yell at and compare others to

"Look at your big sister she can help you you can go and work with her" That's not what i want was the reply but you never seem to listen

" Your twin would help me do this if he was here when is he coming to move in with me I can't wait for him to get here"

I'm here

"Your brother is so smart and I'm proud of him he gets his brain from me I use to massage his head and transferred him my knowledge That's why he's so smart"

I'm smart Even though I spent my whole life being called an idiot or stupid doesn't mean I'm not smart...I'll prove it

" You're doing good in school now but it's already too late" and that's when you left and won't be back for another few years

Fathers always leave and never keep their word...mother's try to protect us " Are you sure you're gonna be okay baby" No momma I wont " Yeah I'll be fine it'll be nice to see some new places" I say I smile

I smile for everyone except me

        ~ARRI~