For Real? ✅

Chapter 24

TESS

The past two weeks couldn't have been worse.

First I broke up with Greg and stopped talking to him altogether.
Then I moved in with Penelope, which I've been regretting.
Not to mention, Leah is still angry with me for the above-mentioned reasons and a lot more.

I couldn't take it anymore.

I found myself desperately waiting for the weekend to come so that I could visit my dad.

I don't particularly like my dad, but now he's my only family left. I can't think of anyone else to go to anyways.

As soon as Saturday dawned, I grabbed a bunch of clothes, my phone and wallet and climbed into the earliest train that would take me back home.

Home. The word comforted me just as I thought about it. It's been nearly five months since I went home, last it was Christmas.

My dad and I had been too depressed to do anything since all we could think about was my mom. It was a miracle that we'd managed to make the Christmas dinner as normal as possible.

But it never was normal and it never could be. Without mom, nothing was ever the same again.

I find tears coming out of my eyes as I think about her. I don't wipe them, rather let them fall, revelling in the memories of all that I had lost.

No one notices me crying anyways.

Two hours later, I reach our house. Everything still looks the same, as though she'd never left. The front porch still flooding with flowers, as though her spirit still tends them.

I ring the bell and pray that I don't look like a mess.

My dad opens the door and gapes at me in surprise. I'd never told him that I was coming.

The next minute he engulfs me in a hug, and I cry into his shoulder. Who cares if I look like a mess anymore?

He pats my head awkwardly, then ushers me through the door. "Come in Tess," my dad says gruffly, "It's warm inside."

I enter the house, and the smell of scrambled eggs tantalises me. I smile to myself, at least my dad's doing a lot better than me.
I remember the last time I came when I'd caught a whiff of stale whisky instead.

Maybe things were going to be better for me too.

Breakfast is a quiet affair, my dad and I exchange small talk and settle into a comfortable silence later. Neither of us mentions mom.

Its better that way.

*****

I am sitting in our garden, dwelling in the thoughts of my mother. The garden was her favourite place in the house, where she'd grown all kinds of plants, one month it would be pumpkins, another month it was potatoes.
I see her apple tree, with tiny blossom buds, which would soon be in full bloom.

I sigh, thinking of how nothing could ease the pain of her absence.

My dad walks up to me silently, surveying the garden with silent grief. I look at him, his eyes wet, as they meet mine.

He clears his throat suddenly and looks away from me.
"I want to sell the house, Tess." He states gravely.

I gape at him. I don't know what to say.

My father pauses to look at my face, before continuing, "It reminds me too much of her. Every step I take in this house echoes with memories of her. And her garden, it is hard for me to tend to."

"I know Dad, this place is filled with her presence. But would she be happy, if she knew you were to sell the house?" I ponder aloud.

"Your mom wanted me to sell the house, Tess. She had said that I wouldn't be able to take care of it, once she died." He sighs deeply, then continues.
"I denied it, but she wouldn't listen to me. She even put the house up for sale, but I took it down."

"I realise now that she was right Tess. I can't take care of the house, I can't live here without thinking about her, I can't keep this house when I know that you are struggling to pay your university fees."

"I can pay my fees dad, I work at-" I start, but he interrupts me.

"I know you, Tess. You work too hard, for those few extra bucks. I'm telling you, that we sell this house, I move into the city and make life easier for both of us."

I ponder over this. It's a long time before I find myself nodding.

It is better for us to move on than to be stuck in the past.

*****

My mother walks up to me, her eyes crinkling at the sides, her face calm and placid as always.

"Mom...", my voice echoes, hollow and empty.
"The house-"

"I know, Tess. Sell the house." She replies.

"But-"

"Don't think too much. I want you both to be happy." She tells me.

My mother walks closer to me and pulls me in a hug. "I know what happened with Adam." She whispers into my ear.

A deadweight drops in my stomach. I try to move away, but she holds me firmly in her grasp. I open my mouth, yet she already knows what I am going to ask.

"I know Tess. About Greg. And Leah. They need you, Tess. More than ever."

"Mom!" I cry, hugging her tightly. I find her fading away like she was made of air.

"Promise me you'll be there for them", she announces, her voice growing fainter.

"Yes, mom. I will", I tell her firmly.

She smiles at me one last time before I wake up from the dream.