For Real? ✅

Chapter 31

TESS

My mom had told me to watch out for Greg.

I go to his apartment after I leave Betty's that evening. Leah hadn't been there at Betty's because she had to go to Ben's funeral. She's not going to be back for another two days.

I knock on the door of Greg's apartment, feeling nervous all of a sudden. It has been three weeks since I had properly spoken to him.

Greg opens the door, his curly hair dishevelled. His eyes widen as he sees me.

We stare at each other for a few minutes.

"Hey, come in." He says finally.

I step inside his apartment to find it look the same as ever. It looked like no time had passed while I had been away.

I see the sunset through the window and my heart clenches. A sudden memory of us watching the sunset, with Greg kissing me pops in my head.

There's no 'us' anymore.

I clear my throat and then nod to him. "Is Will there?" The last thing I want is to interrupt their 'fun' sessions.

"Nope, he just left," Greg says, handing me a glass of juice.

He watches me steadily as I drink the juice. He's looking at me like a ticking time bomb that might explode any minute.
I've never imagined him to look at me like that.

My heart softens at his gaze.
"I'm not here to yell at you, Greg. I really missed you." I tell him gently.

Greg drops his wary look, and a smile replaces it. "I missed you so much, Tess. I don't know how I went on for three weeks without you."

I give him a hug. He hugs me back, and it's bliss for a few minutes.

I want this to be forever.

I'm not the one to decide that either.

"So?" I ask, "How's your new boyfriend?"

Greg shrugs. "Will's really caring, you know. He doesn't seem like it, but he's so romantic. He makes every date elaborate, complete with flowers and chocolates."

I glance at Greg to see his face slightly pink.

"And you? Are you happy?" I ask him. Somehow, if I hear it from him, maybe I'll stop wanting him.

"Yeah, I'm happy," Greg says shortly.

I wait for him to explain, but he doesn't. We watch the sunset in peace, my eyes flitting to him every few minutes.

His brown hair is tousled, glinting gold at the tips in the fading sunlight. His glasses are placed determinedly on his straight nose. His lips are drawn in a small smile, his brown eyes gazing at the sunset in wonder.
His shirt hangs loosely about him, first few buttons were undone, like he'd put it on when I'd come. A sudden vision of him without the shirt appears in my mind.

'Stop it, Tess', I tell myself firmly.

When I'd dated Greg, I'd taken him for granted. I didn't realise how much I loved him until he wasn't mine anymore.

Once I was over the initial anger of him supposedly 'cheating' on me, the pain was all that was remaining. It left a gaping hole in me that would never heal.

Now the only thing that would heal me was Greg. Yet he never will.

"Stop staring at me, Tess." He says suddenly. He turns his face to look at me, smiling cockily. "I know I'm good looking, I can't help it."

I try to force out a laugh, but it sounds hoarse, like a croak. I didn't even realize that I'd been holding myself from crying.

I WANT GREG. Every single piece of him.

"Tess, what's wrong?" He asks, throwing an arm around me. It's comforting, but I can't do it anymore.

I pull away from him, removing his hand. He looks confused.

"Greg, did our relationship mean anything to you? Or did you do it just to make me happy?" I question.

Greg's face hardens. "Yes, I love you, Tess. But it was never romantic."

I stare at him. He looks away from me.
"Did none of the kisses mean anything to you? Did you do it like a reflex, like an involuntary action?" I probe further.

If he gave me clear answers, maybe it would be easy to get over him.
I HAD to get over him.

"I don't know, Tess. It's hard to tell." He says slowly. He gets up and walks to the fridge.
"Do you want anything to eat?" He calls out.

His casual behaviour annoys me. 'It's hard to tell?' Either it's a yes or a no.

He closes the fridge to find me behind him.
"Greg, don't give me a vague answer", I say, walking closer to him.

He moves away from me until his back hits the wall. "Tess, I..." He falters, looking uncertain.

I place my hands on either side, trapping him. His breath falls on my face, as I inch closer to him. We both are breathing fast, the tension almost palpable between us.

"This isn't doing anything to you?" I ask slowly.

"No." Greg let's out a breath. He's closing his eyes to avoid looking at me.

I observe every detail of his face, his hair, his glasses, his lips. Moving closer, I ask him, breathless, "Nothing at all?"

Greg can only shake his head. He's completely red from how close I was to him.

I place my lips on his and sink into the kiss. I put my heart into it, my pain of losing him, my desperate plea to have him back.

Then I realise that he's kissing me back too. His hands move over me, to my back, as the kiss deepens.

I pull away from him and walk a good distance behind before I start speaking.

"Of course it was just an involuntary reflex, wasn't it? There's no way you could love me, Greg, because you're gay, aren't you? You're just doing this to make me happy."

Greg's jaw drops. He looks even redder if that's possible. He opens his mouth, but no words come out.
I've left him speechless.

"Bye Greg!" I call out, before shutting the door of his apartment.

I've done my part.

Now it's all left for him to decide.