My Immortal Soldier

Heavy Hearted

It was nightfall by the time we reached my trailer in Ohio. I came here every year to stock up on supplies in case something like this happened, or if I needed to go on the run. I stopped the car in front of my place.

"Hey, are you awake?" I softly asked Bucky, but I couldn't tell if he was asleep since his head was turned away from me. He didn't move a muscle. So I should his left shoulder gently, but he reacted as if he was under attack. Bucky's metal arm gripped tightly onto my hand while his eyes were wild with rage.

"Let go!" I screamed at him as his grip was cutting off the blood flow in my arm. He caught sight of me then his eyes relaxed as did his grasp. Bucky sat back, and I saw his start to shut down.

"Hey, it's okay. I should've woke you up differently. I'm sorry." I mumbled as I rubbed my wrist. He got out of the car, and I followed. I walked ahead of him to unlock the door.

"It's small, but it'll do for now. I have a bunk under the floor with more supplies." I told him quietly as I turned the lights on.

"Um...are you hungry?" Silence was his response.

"Well, the bed is back there. So...yeah." I rushed past him into the small bathroom, so he couldn't see me cry. I looked at how puffy and red my gray eyes were. This was not how I wanted this to be. Watching Bucky be so broken and cold burdened my heart with heavy sadness.

"Get it together." I whispered to my reflection. I splashed cold water on my face, bruised neck and the bruise that was forming on my wrist. After closing my eyes, I inhaled deep breaths and turned my face to be like stone once again. I needed to be strong for Bucky. I walked out of the bathroom only to stop abruptly, for Bucky was standing in the doorway.

"Sorry. The bathroom's yours." I said while trying to move out of his way. I had to go get my bag out of the trunk of the car, but then his left hand grabbed mine, only more gentler this time.

"Don't leave." He whispered. I looked up at him, and he looked almost like he was begging. I nodded and replied.

"I'll stay with you. Til the end of the line." His face looked horrified then I instantly rambled,

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'll stay if you want me to. I didn't mean to-"

He slammed his hand against the wall to shut me up. I lowered my gaze from Bucky.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled before going to the car to grab my bag. When I came back in, Bucky was sitting on the bed with his shirt off while looking at the gauze.

"Do you want me to look at that?" I asked him. He straightened himself up; allowing me permission. I went in the bathroom and grabbed a first aid kit and peroxide. I came back into the tiny bedroom and put the kit and peroxide on the bed. With my free hands, I gently took off the gauze to see his wound that I caused. I grabbed another gauze and soaked it in peroxide.

"This is going to sting." I told Bucky, and he absentmindedly nodded. I gently placed it on the wound, but Bucky winced then I removed it.

"Sorry." I said quietly. He took his metal arm and gently wrapped it around my hand that was holding the gauze then placed it back on his shoulder wound despite the wincing. After cleaning it, I noticed how deep the wound was.

"I have to stitch up the wound. Here." I gave him some painkiller, which I should have given him earlier for the stinging. He took them and swallowed before I had the chance to give him water. I sighed as I grabbed the latex gloves, surgery needle and thread. I was as quick as I could be that way so Bucky could rest.

"All right. You can rest now." I said as I put the first aid kit away. Once I came back into the bedroom, Bucky was lying on one side of the bed. My mind grew conflicted with my heart. Should I sleep next to him or on the floor? I grabbed a pillow and spare blanket and placed them on the floor.

"Sleep well." I said as he adjusted himself. I exhaled a sigh as I stared at the ceiling, waiting for Bucky to fall asleep. As soon as I was sure he was sleeping, I tiptoed with a flashlight to my bag, which was by the front door. Quietly, I unzipped it to pull out Bucky's file that I stole. I needed to know what they've done to him. As I read it, I couldn't help but silently cry and mourn. He was injected with serums, put under cryo-freeze, tortured beyond human imagination. No wonder why he was the way that he was. I heard Bucky stir then I put his file under mine. Afterwards, I quickly tiptoed my way back to my spot on the floor. Bucky was still asleep as I cried into my pillow throughout the rest of night.