Dear my precious, little lavenders,
As you all know, I am not a fan of writing very serious chapters because I hate brining the mood down but I decided that I needed to write this letter to you all and explain things a bit. Did I do something horribly wrong...no, but I do feel the need to write an apology about some other things currently on my mind, yes. As you know, my first chapter is about BTS' fandom and how they are "one of the worst". I first and foremost want to address and give my sincerest apologies for stating that. I know I always say that it was an old opinion and I thought it back in 2017 when lots of toxicity started popping up and while all of that is true, I still feel the need to apologize. I left the fandom back in 2019 because I had experienced personal issues with armies that were very upsetting and painful which is then what led me to leave. Now while I never hated on them because I still owe and thank BTS for everything they have given me (hope, meeting new friends, exploring my horizons), I felt as though the first opinion was very hurtful to fans. It also led me to get a lot of backlash and hate which I cannot even blame people for giving me because it was solely my choice to publish the chapter and write those words.
I want to say now as someone who has matured and even now restanning the boys, I am sincerely sorry for ever writing those words and publishing that chapter. I have come to terms with myself as I've become more aware that while the things that hurt me in the past, those are in the past and that doesn't define the outlook I should have on the group and every person. As I've stated, I have decided to restan the boys and get back into them. Am I still cautious because of my prior experiences with some fans, yes but again that's the past and this is now. Things are different now, and I've grown up which will hopefully be shown throughout this letter. Those past memories should not have affected how I viewed the fans and again, I want to say sorry for anyone who may have been hurt or affected by my words. It was very immature and rude of me to say those things and I hope people won't view me as a bad person.
In addition, I also want to address my BlackPink chapters. I had also tended to rudely word some things and want to sincerely apologize for those too. Like BTS, I have rekindled my love for BlackPink this year, and while I never left the fandom I felt as though myself wasn't being a good blink. Maybe I was just stating the truth some are afraid to admit and face or maybe I truly was being mean, either way it still is unacceptable of me to go around and publish and write those words. Now while I did edit the opinions to a more civilized, mature way if they have offended anyone I am so sorry and didn't intend that in any way, shape, or form. I did go back and read them and can say I personally believe they aren't rude or talking down the girls in any way but again if you have been offended, I am sorry it's uncalled for and immature. Now as I stated above, I have rekindled my love for the girls which is very true. I've overall been just enjoying and playing their music lots this year. I've been especially playing their pre-release "How You Like That", and am super excited for their next single with Selena Gomez(It's going to be so good!). I was also very vocal and ignorant and immature with my YG opinion which is something else I want to apologize for. It has been edited for a little while now, but before it was downright ignorant and very rude of me to just go off and rant about him. Is this in any way justifications for his actions, no but mine should be held accountable. I personally thought I was a little rude and immature when writing that because I was very upset and angered by everything YG had been doing. While I am still upset about the actions he's done in the past, I can't change that but I can change the way I discuss it. I hope no one was too offended or hurt by my words, and want to apologize for acting on feelings and being immature about the situation.
I want this book and my account platform to be a place where people can feel safe to state their thoughts and opinions without feeling upset or getting bashed, but how can they do that if I display immaturity myself. I want my prior actions to be acknowledged and be held accountable because it was downright rude, immature, and ignorant of me to write and publish those things. Whether you choose to forgive me or not is completely up to you, but to the people who have been hurt or offended I want to truly apologize from the bottom of my heart. I hope we can meet in the middle ground and be friends but again, that decision is all up to you. I'm thinking of either removing or just rewriting a different opinion in place of those immature ones, so whatever you would like to see please feel free to tell me. I hope you all can find it in your hearts to forgive me, and I hope we can all be friendly and kind to one another especially in times like these. I hope you guys are all safe, healthy, and most importantly happy. My private messages are always open if you ever need someone to talk to. See you all around<3.
~Sincerely,
Lavender
